What is it this week with all the IDIOTS? Maybe my tolerance is just really low (it tends to mirror my bank balance).
The boys take swimming lessons at the YMCA on Mon/Wed afternoons. The lessons end at 5:15, so clearly they shower and put pajamas on and then we head home. Since they are under 7 and boys (thanks A LOT Coach, just what I freaking wanted), we use the family locker room. Said family locker room is for that use precisely, moms and dads who need to get their minis changed/showered/pottied for any number of YMCA activities. It is NOT for adults.
There are 6 stall type areas with shower curtains for changing clothes and using the commode. There are 2 showers with the same curtains and one sink.
When swimming lessons end, there are approximately 35 children and their
respective parents who head to the locker room. About 1/2 of those children use the shower.
WHY then, when there is a line of shivering minis waiting not-so-patiently isn't every mother/father hustling their child through the showering process? "Hurry up buddy rinse your hair, do a quick once over with the soap. Other children are waiting." Oh, that's right, they ALL do. Every parent there seems to have picked up on the social nuances of the family locker room and speeds the children through the process. We have all determined that this is not going to be the most thorough shower they ever had, just getting off the excess chlorine, etc.
EXCEPT for Nil. Yep, that's her stupid name, Nil. It mirrors her likeability quotient. She, a seemingly lucid 35ish year old MOTHER of 2 is the ONLY one who doesn't get it. Her children are slow, yes. They need prodding, yes. But that's not really the problem. SHE IS IN THE DAMN SHOWER WITH THEM!!! Hell--ooo, there are moms AND dads in here and she's decided now is the time to freaking deep condition her hair and SHAVE HER LEGS? What the Hell is she THINKING? After TWELVE exfoliating minutes, she exits the shower cubby wrapped in a TOWEL and lotions herself up BEFORE dressing her preschoolers. Yep, leg (not a nice one either) propped up on the locker bench full on Jergens her ENTIRE self.
At this point, I am so late for my 6 o'clock showing, steam is poring out of my head (mirroring the steam she's created in her uber-shower spa experience in the FAMILY locker room at the dang YMCA.) And the Daddies? Just embarrassed for you. Truly, I recognize turned-on when I see it, they aren't.
Nil, I hate what you did. So does Ryan. So does Jack. And they have the blue lips to prove it.
September 24, 2007
Idiocy Abounds
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11 comments:
oh my...I can't believe she was in there too. unbelievable...i hate that for the little ones waiting in line...
That cracks me up. We also have the same set-up at our Y. Never enough showers. Do you know what she drives? Maybe you could leave a note on her windshield from the wet children.
You are hilarious!!! I'm the idiot that lets her kids sleep in chlorine-skin. But it reminds me of a time way back in a gym shower and could not believe what I saw... a woman blow-drying her 'hoohah'.
I don't even know what to say...that's, at minimum, bizarre and furthermore nearly perverse. Definitely time to get ahold of her shampoo bottle!
our Y doesn't have a family locker room (small town) so we used the ladies after the boys had swim lessons last spring. there was this one old lady in there who would announce to me from the other side of the lockers, "i'm getting dressed now! keep the boys over there!" naturally, the boys would go running around there at that point. i couldn't figure out if she didn't want the boys (age 2 and 4) to see her naked or if she thought that i wouldn't want them to?
bottom line: there are crazy people at the y.
kb
That is hilarious! I'm surprised you haven't said anything to her yet. When are you coming back to South Carolina?
Tell the management at the Y what she is doing. I think you might need to make it seem more offensive to the Dads in the room, like she is parading around in her towel in front of them. I'm sure her little show is breaking some sort of rules at the Y. If she is crazy enough to do that in front of the Dads, she is crazy enough to claim that one of them is oogling her.
The whole scene sounds painful to me. I think I would skip it and do all the bathing at home.
Some people really have no clue. I think I would have to say something to mgmt along the lines the Dads are mortified....
And you haven't snarked her yet? You have so much self control. Me? I'd have totally said something to her, even at the expense of looking bad myself.
Then again, I'm the mom who lets her kid wear the chlorine home from the pool. :-)
I wish I could tell a story so well. Locker room showers freak me out so I have to bathe the boys at home.
Your labels crack me up! We don't have family rooms at my gym, but nonetheless, other peoples' locker room antics (weird, annoying and gross) never cease to amaze me!
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