Something terrible happened today. Something so disturbing that it may cloud the rest of my weekend...
To say that I am a "regular" at my metro Atlanta Starbucks would be a gross understatement. To say that my personal consumption there might possibly pay the entire electric bill for the store would be more correct. Literally it's ridiculous. A mom said to me last night at the spaghetti dinner (or the "Spaghetti Dinner Down Below" as I am referring to it) that she's never seen me without a Starbucks cup. Duh, that's like leaving the house with no lipgloss. Can you do it? Sure. Should you do it? Not if you can help it.
So, each and every day (or more than once a day) I order my beverage of choice, Venti Skim Chai Latte, extra hot. (because, and let's be honest, I AM extra hot, so my drink should be, too.) Lately, well, we've been feeling a little financial pinch (read: death grip) at the Casa de Chaos. So, in order to ensure that we can pay our OWN electric bill, I switched my beloved beverage to a Venti Calm Tea. Bringing the total from over $4 to $1.85. Brings new meaning to the word, "economizing".
Now, allow me to go off on a slight tangent. For those of you who are really reading this, not just skimming it, you noticed that I switched to a CALM tea. Thinketh not that I am attempting to cut back on my caffeine intake (blasphemy!) or that I need to CALM down. None of the above, I am going straight for taste. The Calm tea has hints of yummy-ness all through it, and a bunch a flavors that just make me happy, thus the choice. I did try Awake tea, but it well, made me want to PIMMAL so that was out.
Anyway, back to the terrible thing that happened. I ordered my tea, picked it up at the beverage bar (it says SuperMom on the cup, duh) and turned around to add my skim milk and sweetener. Well, just about that time, not one, not two but THREE very, very yucky people came in the door wearing...brace yourselves...GAMECOCK sweatshirts. That really made me PIMMAL, and we all know how I feel about those Cocks. Makes me shudder to think that they were even in MY Starbucks.
So, incredibly nauseated and disgusted by their presence, I made my huge error. I poured WHOLE milk into my tea. Now, this creates problems on a multitude of levels. Firstly, too many calories and fat. Secondly, I am allergic to whole milk and it makes me sneeze 84,000 times. Thirdly, it's G-ross and ruins the yummy-ness of the Calm tea and makes it all creamy and foul.
What's a girl to do? My options as I saw them at that point were minimal. Throw the tea out and try not to cry. Order another tea and shell out the $1.85 again (which would monetarily defeat the purpose of breaking up with my beloved chai latte), or drink the God-awful tea with the nasty-fied whole milk and sneeze my fool head off.
So, if you were wondering who that crazy lady was in SuperTarget this morning with tears in her eyes and sneezing a indeterminable number of times, it was me. And yes, I blame the Cocks.
To say that I am a "regular" at my metro Atlanta Starbucks would be a gross understatement. To say that my personal consumption there might possibly pay the entire electric bill for the store would be more correct. Literally it's ridiculous. A mom said to me last night at the spaghetti dinner (or the "Spaghetti Dinner Down Below" as I am referring to it) that she's never seen me without a Starbucks cup. Duh, that's like leaving the house with no lipgloss. Can you do it? Sure. Should you do it? Not if you can help it.
So, each and every day (or more than once a day) I order my beverage of choice, Venti Skim Chai Latte, extra hot. (because, and let's be honest, I AM extra hot, so my drink should be, too.) Lately, well, we've been feeling a little financial pinch (read: death grip) at the Casa de Chaos. So, in order to ensure that we can pay our OWN electric bill, I switched my beloved beverage to a Venti Calm Tea. Bringing the total from over $4 to $1.85. Brings new meaning to the word, "economizing".
Now, allow me to go off on a slight tangent. For those of you who are really reading this, not just skimming it, you noticed that I switched to a CALM tea. Thinketh not that I am attempting to cut back on my caffeine intake (blasphemy!) or that I need to CALM down. None of the above, I am going straight for taste. The Calm tea has hints of yummy-ness all through it, and a bunch a flavors that just make me happy, thus the choice. I did try Awake tea, but it well, made me want to PIMMAL so that was out.
Anyway, back to the terrible thing that happened. I ordered my tea, picked it up at the beverage bar (it says SuperMom on the cup, duh) and turned around to add my skim milk and sweetener. Well, just about that time, not one, not two but THREE very, very yucky people came in the door wearing...brace yourselves...GAMECOCK sweatshirts. That really made me PIMMAL, and we all know how I feel about those Cocks. Makes me shudder to think that they were even in MY Starbucks.
So, incredibly nauseated and disgusted by their presence, I made my huge error. I poured WHOLE milk into my tea. Now, this creates problems on a multitude of levels. Firstly, too many calories and fat. Secondly, I am allergic to whole milk and it makes me sneeze 84,000 times. Thirdly, it's G-ross and ruins the yummy-ness of the Calm tea and makes it all creamy and foul.
What's a girl to do? My options as I saw them at that point were minimal. Throw the tea out and try not to cry. Order another tea and shell out the $1.85 again (which would monetarily defeat the purpose of breaking up with my beloved chai latte), or drink the God-awful tea with the nasty-fied whole milk and sneeze my fool head off.
So, if you were wondering who that crazy lady was in SuperTarget this morning with tears in her eyes and sneezing a indeterminable number of times, it was me. And yes, I blame the Cocks.
15 comments:
We feel the same way about The Cocks in this house however we are Alabama fans so sorry about that. Love the post. Very funny!
ok, call me filthy, but the title of your post today made me spit my coffee on my computer screen. I know you meant "gamecocks".....but still. HILARIOUS!!!!
Love you.
Lesly
Oh, I almost forgot....Tazo makes a tea (bag) called Chai that, obviously, doesn't taste just like a chai latte, but it's pretty close. I mean, if you're trying to save a little cash and want something close, give it a try. Just trying to help. :)
Lesly
You are so funny!! I would have turned to the barista of the day and maybe pushed the boobies up a bit and smiled and begged for another. But funny visual of you walking thru Target holding your cup and sneezing every few seconds!!
BTW the title of this post-Hillarious
Joy
Love the visual. And I know what everyone should get you for Christmas now...
For a UVA person such as myself, the equivalent would be either people wearing Virginia Tech or Duke shirts. Damn straight it would ruin my day.
Something about the chicken curse does it every time....Sorry those chickens ruined your tea!!!
Jennifer - I so freakin' loved this post- cracked me in half- that is good now that I don't walk as much as when I lived with you.
Love
mel
too funny! (And as a Longhorn, I'd feel the same way about OU or A&M; and as a Dukie, I'd slightly feel that way about UNC...grad school at Duke so my ties aren't as strong as UT!)
You crack me up! Too funny because I just blogged about my bad experience at Starbucks today. I'm going to have to try that tea...apparently the caramel apple cider that I usually order from Starbucks is just too fattening to even put into your body (or so the rude Starbucks guy told me today as he was making my caramel apple cider).
For the record, I am not a true Gamecock fan... hubby and I are doing a student housing project there so we have an 'interest' there but nothing more. So don't hate me... I LOVED the post... ruining my 'goodness of the morning' is SO something that would ruin my day!
Still waiting for the boot help... I'm clueless!
And finally, 'the coach's wife' is my real-life best friend since 7th grade... you two would SO get along!! And I'd just tag along...
Girl you crack me up!
That was too funny! I can totally appreciate those feelings as a Wolfpack fan whenever I see that ugly UNC blue!
Great story! I like chai lattes too!
Don’t believe one optimistic word from any public figure about the economy or humanity in general. They are all part of the problem. Its like a game of Monopoly. In America, the richest 1% now hold 1/2 OF ALL UNITED STATES WEALTH. Unlike ‘lesser’ estimates, this includes all stocks, bonds, cash, and material assets held by America’s richest 1%. Even that filthy pig Oprah acknowledged that it was at about 50% in 2006. Naturally, she put her own ‘humanitarian’ spin on it. Calling attention to her own ‘good will’. WHAT A DISGUSTING HYPOCRITE SLOB. THE RICHEST 1% HAVE LITERALLY MADE WORLD PROSPERITY ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE. Don’t fall for any of their ‘humanitarian’ CRAP. ITS A SHAM. THESE PEOPLE ARE CAUSING THE SAME PROBLEMS THEY PRETEND TO CARE ABOUT. Ask any professor of economics. Money does not grow on trees. The government can’t just print up more on a whim. At any given time, there is a relative limit to the wealth within ANY economy of ANY size. So when too much wealth accumulates at the top, the middle class slip further into debt and the lower class further into poverty. A similar rule applies worldwide. The world’s richest 1% now own over 40% of ALL WORLD WEALTH. This is EVEN AFTER you account for all of this ‘good will’ ‘humanitarian’ BS from celebrities and executives. ITS A SHAM. As they get richer and richer, less wealth is left circulating beneath them. This is the single greatest underlying cause for the current US recession. The middle class can no longer afford to sustain their share of the economy. Their wealth has been gradually transfered to the richest 1%. One way or another, we suffer because of their incredible greed. We are talking about TRILLIONS of dollars. Transfered FROM US TO THEM. Over a period of about 27 years. Thats Reaganomics for you. The wealth does not ‘trickle down’ as we were told it would. It just accumulates at the top. Shrinking the middle class and expanding the lower class. Causing a domino effect of socio-economic problems. But the rich will never stop. They will never settle for a reasonable share of ANYTHING. They will do whatever it takes to get even richer. Leaving even less of the pie for the other 99% of us to share. At the same time, they throw back a few tax deductable crumbs and call themselves ‘humanitarians’. IT CAN’T WORK THIS WAY. Any 'humanitarian' progress made in one area will be lost in another. EVERY SINGLE TIME. IT ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT WORK THIS WAY. This is going to end just like a game of Monopoly. The current US recession will drag on for years and lead into the worst US depression of all time. The richest 1% will live like royalty while the rest of us fight over jobs, food, and gasoline. Crime, poverty, and suicide will skyrocket. So don’t fall for all of this PR CRAP from Hollywood, Pro Sports, and Wall Street PIGS. ITS A SHAM. Remember: They are filthy rich EVEN AFTER their tax deductable contributions. Greedy pigs. Now, we are headed for the worst economic and cultural crisis of all time. SEND A “THANK YOU” NOTE TO YOUR FAVORITE MILLIONAIRE. ITS THEIR FAULT. I’m not discounting other factors like China, sub-prime, or gas prices. But all of those factors combined still pale in comparison to that HUGE transfer of wealth to the rich. Anyway, those other factors are all related and further aggrivated because of GREED. If it weren’t for the OBSCENE distribution of wealth within our country, there never would have been such a market for sub-prime to begin with. Which by the way, was another trick whipped up by greedy bankers and executives. IT MAKES THEM RICHER. The credit industry has been ENDORSED by people like Oprah, Ellen, Dr Phil, and many other celebrities. IT MAKES THEM RICHER. Now, there are commercial ties between nearly every industry and every public figure. IT MAKES THEM RICHER. So don’t fall for their ‘good will’ BS. ITS A LIE. If you fall for it, then you’re a fool. If you see any real difference between the moral character of a celebrity, politician, attorney, or executive, then you’re a fool. WAKE UP PEOPLE. ITS ALL ABOUT THE MONEY. The 1% club will always say or do whatever it takes to get as rich as possible. Without the slightest regard for anything or anyone but themselves. Vioxx. Their idea. Sub-prime. Their idea. NAFTA. Their idea. Outsourcing. Their idea. The commercial lobbyist. Their idea. The multi-million dollar lawsuit. Their idea. $200 cell phone bills. Their idea. $200 basketball shoes. Their idea. $30 late fees. Their idea. $30 NSF fees. Their idea. $20 DVDs. Their idea. Subliminal advertising. Their idea. The MASSIVE campaign to turn every American into a brainwashed credit card, pharmaceutical, love-sick, celebrity junkie. Their idea. All of which concentrate the world’s wealth and resources and wreak havok on society. All of which have been CREATED AND ENDORSED by celebrities, athletes, and executives. IT MAKES THEM RICHER. So don’t fall for their ‘ good will’ ‘humanitarian’ BS. ITS A SHAM. NOTHING BUT TAX DEDUCTABLE PR CRAP. Bottom line: The richest 1% will soon tank the largest economy in the world. It will be like nothing we’ve ever seen before. and thats just the beginning. Greed will eventually tank every major economy in the world. Causing millions to suffer and die. Oprah, Angelina, Brad, Bono, and Bill are not part of the solution. They are part of the problem. EXTREME WEALTH HAS MADE WORLD PROSPERITY ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE. WITHOUT WORLD PROSPERITY, THERE WILL NEVER BE WORLD PEACE OR ANYTHING EVEN CLOSE. GREED KILLS. IT WILL BE OUR DOWNFALL. Of course, the rich will throw a fit and call me a madman. Of course, their ignorant fans will do the same. You have to expect that. But I speak the truth. If you don’t believe me, then copy this entry and run it by any professor of economics or socio-economics. Then tell a friend. Call the local radio station. Re-post this entry or put it in your own words. Be one of the first to predict the worst economic and cultural crisis of all time and explain its cause. WE ARE IN BIG TROUBLE.
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