Full Tank

I am delighted to report that I have a full tank of gas, found some yesterday thanks to Coach. He can see 2 gas stations from his office over the field and reported accordingly to me. Amen. You can't imagine how strange it is here in Atlanta. It may be a couple of weeks before things get back to normal...or at least the new normal.

In other news, it's no surprise that I am an indoors-y kind of girl. However? The Luke Bryan song Country Man fires me up to no end. Something about hearing him sing about deer stands and rough hands and...well, go download it on iTunes. Trust me.

"...don't be a tape player hater, girl, we're groovin' to Hank..."

Comedy Hour

Sunday afternoon I hosted an Open House at one of my listings. I asked a mortgage lender to be there with me me for safety reasons. (An open house and a 33 yr old Clemsongirl makes for some potential psychos)

He is well, hot. Happily married, but hot.

Midway through the Open House I really, really needed to use the ladies room. I excused myself and while in there I glanced in the mirror. My hair was, well, cr-azy. I decided to redo the ponytail and pulled the elastic out.

I ran my hands through it and determined that it indeed required a ponytail. It was borderline needing a wash, had a dent in it from the elastic and was looking totally wackadoo. I gave it a good flip over, fluffed it up and pulled the elastic off my wrist.

And flung it into the commode.

Don't think I didn't pull that puppy out, give it a rinse and put it right back into my hair.

Sister Mary Francis ...

..would be proud

Only in a Catholic church would the mother in front of me at 8:30 Mass be drawing pictures to entertain her little one...

Of Incredible Hulk.

Amen. Sing it Sister.

Huh. Well there you go.

Coach is watching a tournament late tonight. So I am watching a movie (SATC...and no, I hadn't seen it until tonight!), folding laundry, loading the dishwasher, writing thank you notes and playing musical beds with the minis and it occurs to me.

I'm doing this. The whole grown up thing. The house, the marriage, the mortgage, the children. The responsibilities, the job, the volunteering, all of it. The juggling of the school, work, soccer, playing, friends, housework dance.

And I'm doing a pretty freaking good job at it.

Can you remind me of that the next time I am losing my mind?

Note to Self

When showing the lady at Linens and Things photos of your coffee maker you've saved in your cell phone (to show her which replacement carafe you need) it's really not the best idea to click forward to your self portrait.

Yeah, that self portrait. The one you took to send to one of your bestest girlfriends for a reference point. Of your chest. Topless and bra-less. To show her doctor for her upcoming, ahem, enhancement surgery exactly what she's hoping for.

That photo, although completely un-enhanced by surgery, will not be helpful when searching for coffee pots. It will however make the LNT employee blush and look away and stammer in confusion.

I'm just saying.

Refusal Scarlett, Refusal

Today I refuse to listen to the news and be scared and panicked and depressed and overwhelmed by all that's going on. Don't talk to me about world currency and stock markets and such. Don't talk to me about bank balances or debt or interest rates. Don't talk to me about gas shortages and grocery prices.

Talk to me today only about thinks that will make me laugh and smile, not cry.

Talk to me about the fact that my second grader loves to read as much as me. He literally craves books and by the end of the night there are stacks and stacks of books beside his bed. Talk to me about reading as the gateway to the world. He devours them dozens at a time.

Talk to me about my Kindergartner and how he loves to take things apart and put them back together. About how he is so interested in how things work that he can sit and watch a machine work for hours on end until he's figured out how to replicate it with pipe cleaners and some electrical tape.

Talk to me about how a sorority sister I haven't seen in 12 years can call me out of the blue and we can spend the day laughing and reminiscing like a day hasn't gone by. Talk to me about the weddings and new babies and shiny new minivans. Talk to me about that.

Let's focus on the fun and exciting and new and lip gloss-y things today. The rest of that black, dark and scary stuff?

Well, I'll think about that tomorrow.

Manic

A little crazy week ahead of me and you know what that means for you...

the promise of funny stories...

In the mean time, process this;

If you and your husband are at a buffet type restaurant such as Sweet Tomatoes, it is NOT cool for you to go to the buffet and get your hubbies plate whilst he sits on his tail pipe and you SERVE him.

Indeed, I saw this on Saturday...in 2008.

Behavior Modification and Casa Decoration

If you have elementary school children, you're familiar with a Behavior Chart. The basic idea is numbers 1 through 5, 5 being the best. Clips, crayons, tickets, whatever for each child get moved based on good or bad choices. Two days ago Jack called me into the kitchen to show me his "project"...a behavior chart...FOR MOMMY! He then said,

"You are not nice. You did not pay any attention to me. You are on a ONE. Move your clip."

Damn. I have since moved up to a 4 on Wednesday when I gave Jack a baby size Frosty. This morning I was moved to a 5, as a result of letting him wear a Gymboree tshirt to school with no collar. That evidently is "a really, really good choice."

This is the Uppercase Living decal Stella and I put over the kitchen sink. Please note the impatien that refuses to die in the Mother's Day pot, the Tillman Hall wooden cute thing and the Spiced Pumpkin foaming hand soap and lotion from the Dollar Spot at Super Target.

This is the little window to the left of the front door.

The master bedroom at the Casa de Chaos. Stella and I have decided that backing needs to be a cute fabric (we put the monogram on the glass) and a chocolate ribbon.

Buckets of Random

Nothing in particular to post about today, so here's some tidbits of my life this week.

Exchanged this text messaging conversation with Lawyer's Wife late the other night:
CG: M&M cookie dough ice cream is Phat.
LW: It will make you Phat.
CG: Correction, Phatter.

Amen for unlimited Verizon IN texting, right?
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Someone stole 10 size small Spirit Wear tshirts from my PTA closet. Why? I have no idea. Clearly this is a job for Magnum PI. Clemsongirl just plain doesn't want to deal with it. However, if you see someone selling 10 size small Primary School tshirts on the black market, give me a shout...they cost us a good $5 a piece...hee hee
__________________________________
I fell asleep at 9 last night on the couch and did not stir until 6:30 this morning. I had not made lunches, laid out clothes for the minis or packed backpacks. To my shock and surprise, no fairies came in the night to manage any of these things.
__________________________________
I had a rough day yesterday. Stella attempted to correct my crappy attitude with the following:
1. Offers of a sandwich from the local boutique deli: declined
2. Offer to clean my bathrooms: sadly and regretfully declined
3. Offer to help my put up some Uppercase Living I bought in April: total success. Attitude amended!

Anything else you want to know?

Gracious Me!

Thanks to Mad About Plaid for this Diamond Award; I must admit she bestowed it on me BEFORE she met me IRL, so she may want to change her mind... hee hee

This cute one is from TheStarnesFamily, via MammaDawg...love it!

I love clicking around and reading all the great blogs out there...which one is your favorite?

Coach Says

Coach is feeling guilty.

The photo of him got 54 comments.

The photos of the minis got 9.

Monday

Pics from soccer, as promised. I'm a total indoors-y kind of girl, but even I enjoy some early morning children's soccer. The skill set is much easier to manage at 5 and 7 versus baseball and they are much, much more tired when it's over. Which is at 10am...so really? You've still got the entire day to enjoy/attempt to sell homes.

Last night I lovingly suggested (read: demanded) that Coach stop at the store on his way home at 9pm and pick up Diet Whateversonsale and one other item. Said item was necessary for his dinner...at 9pm. More specifically, it was necessary for him to make his own dinner. Clemsongirl was all done.

After he ate, I ceremoniously fell asleep watching re-runs of Desperate Housewives. I slept through getting the minis showered and dressed for school. I woke up just in time to open yogurts and put ice packs in lunch boxes.

I did all of this in a fabulous ensemble. A pair of Alaska Baseball League Miners sweatpants and a Primary school tshirt. My curly, messy hair was piled on top of my head. I hoovered a Diet Whateversonsale and uttered monosyllabic conversation this morning.

After all that prettiness, Coach STILL isn't serenading me with this song...I just can't figure out
why.

Monograms for Days

Guess where I am today? Over at Lawyer's Wife's studio helping her process orders for her fantastic business, Monogram Me.

Being in this studio is perhaps the most fun I have all week. Not only is it stocked full of all things pink and polka dot and fun, but I get to see all the orders each week. How fun to see all the bloggers whose posts I read and all the fabulous things she is making for them! Watching her monogram and embroider and package and be-ribbon everything from kitchen towels to car monograms, whilst I park my happy arse in a chair and drink Lawyer's Mint Tea. (yes, said Tea requires capitalization)

Don't worry, the minis are well entertained. They are just in the other room with her minis playing...ummm, dunno. We just know that they are happy and quiet and well, leaving us alone.

Also had soccer this morning, which demands photos to truly show you the cuteness level of the minis playing soccer. You know how I feel about the craziness of youth athletics, and this league is way, way, low key. Like I could coach the team. Alas, I won't...but I could. Photos to follow, pinky swear. But in all aspects it is an ideal organization. Pay your money, get your uni and show up at game time. Perfect, I'll bring my snacks and perhaps a cutely named adult beverage... gotta work on that.

In other news I did spend the day on Thursday with the cutie pie Mad About Plaid, which I have been given permission to post about. MAP and her hubs are making the move up North to Atlanta and we were neighborhood shopping. I met them at a Starbucks (duh) and handed her my signature happy for "clients that I like"; a polka dot folder and dotted pen paired with a striped notebook...in pink of course. We spent the day laughing and cutting up, whilst her hubs endured the day in the back seat of the monogrammed minivan. I hope I lived up to her expectations...I'm just saying! We're destined to be friends for-evah as soon as she gets her arse here for good.

Gotta run for now, Lawyer's Wife needs me to pack up some car monograms to be shipped this week! Isn't her stuff the bestest!?

Eye Candy

For your Friday viewing pleasure...it's Coach-flavored eye candy. See why I put up with his crazy schedule?!

This is What Happens

This morning I offered to take Jack to school for Coach. We normally wake the minis up at 6:30 to get showered (yes, they only have a 1/2 day hair cycle...shower in the morning and bath at night!) for school and leave at 7:05.

This morning Jack woke up on his own much earlier than normal and was bouncing off the walls. Coach and I both have a very low tolerance in the morning for shenanigans and I could tell Coach was close to losing his mind. He took Ryan and I took Jack. I am so freaking nice.

Normally I head to work in the morning, but this morning is cleaning day. Staying home and dealing with the Casa de Chaos. Needless to say, I was sporting a less than fabulous ensemble.

Today was black yoga pants and a tshirt. Well get back to that in a minute.

Fast forward to 7:30. Jack is dropped off and I am headed home. Talking to Lawyer's Wife on the phone and sitting at a 4 way stop patiently waiting my turn.

Boom! Chick behind me rear ends the Monogrammed Minivan. Damn. Not much damage, but still. I am a total freak about the car seats and I am already picking new ones out in my head. Insurance is going to pay for new ones...they might as well be CUTE.

I call the police. Several friends and an off duty officer stop to check on Clemsongirl. My PTA VP stays and waits with me. We trade stories of previous accidents and as we're talking, it occurs to me that not only am I straight out of bed, but I have on yesterdays eye makeup. Yuck. I grab a baby wipe and manage that as best as I can. Grab a little lip gloss and a mint. I'm not perfect, but I'll pass. It's not like it's my fault.

A few minutes later, the officer shows up and steps out of his car. I straighten my ponytail and attempt to put on my happy face.

Dude.

He's HOT. Like making me nervous hot. Gr-eat. He stops and talks to the chick that hit me, and then heads my way. I remind myself that it wasn't my fault. I am a mom driving a minivan. There are witnesses. I have 2 car seats in said responsible car. This is going to be a no brainer.

And then I look down at my shirt.

It's green. It's fitted. It's clean.

It says, "Green Beer Day! Drink so much you paint the town green!"

Super. Freaking super.

ETA: Oooh. HOT police officer just called me. Forgot something on the police report...sure, sure you did. Me thinketh he likes the Clemsongirl.

Wednesday

Not ignoring the blog.

Pinky swear.

All Things Clemsongirl

I am in the weeds a little with PTA spiritwear and work, so I am holding off on posting. In the meantime, do some online shopping....I even made them links, since I love you so much.

Things that make me Clemsongirl:

Minivan monogram. Really? Possibly the ONLY fun thing about having a vehicle. MPM Designs will help you pick out the best font and style for you. Starting at $12 and comes in 84,000 colors, including ORANGE!

GAP favorite t. Get one in every color. Long and short sleeve. Immediately. $12.50ish.

Flat iron. You can spend a lot less on a flat iron, but this one is the best. $195 (please stop gasping Coach...)I've had mine for 6 years and never had issues with it, it's a workhorse.

Big enormously fat hairbrush. On sale this week for $8.39, hello?! Seriously, lifesaving!

Fab Clemson tees and all the Clemson gear you need. $15.99 for the shirt.

Tell them Clemsongirl sent you!

The bestest white cami. Adjustable straps, lies perfectly flat at the hem, doesn't roll up. No annoying bra built in. Washes great, doesn't shrink or yellow. $7.99 Need I say more?


Magic Pants. Seriously? If you order them and don't like them, I'll leave home with no lip gloss. $15ish, depending on when you order. DON'T confuse these for the ones in the store. They are currently only online. Trust me. The ones instore are similar, but not perfect. And yes, that is my stomach....ummm....

VS Cherry Bomb lip gloss. I also love Juiced Berry! 2/$12 or 5/$20

If

If you're 5 years old and snuggle up next to me in church, smelling like a little ball of delicious, all showered and yummy, and you tell me I'm pretty in my new shoes?

It's absolutely guaranteed that later today, when you ask me to "please, please put on the softest sheets with the snowmans" on your bed....I'll strip the monogrammed percale ones that have been on your bed only 3 nights and switch them for the flannel Christmas ones. In 85 degree weather.

Because even a hard pretzel can be soft on the inside.

Hanging on My Closet Door

White Long Sleeve Perfect T from GAP
Navy Gumball Necklace from Old Navy



Navy Cotton Skirt with Lettuce Ruffle from Target


Canvas MaryJane Flats from Old Navy

Mass comes bright and early at 8:30 so I have to choose the emsemble before bed.
How cute are those SHOES?!

Can't wait until the alarm goes off...

Juxtaposition

It's 7am.

I am getting on the treadmill.

With a Tervis Big T full of Diet Whateversonsale.

"It's the Most Fun"

There's a mom in my extended circle of aquaintances that I just can't seem to connect with. She seems nice enough and we keep bumping into each other around town. I can't stand it when women don't like me and I'll keep at it until you do. Usually.

Her children are roughly the same age as mine, and she drives an equally clean minivan. At first I thought she was shy, then I thought maybe she was insecure. Then I started thinking maybe she was just a biotch.

This week whilst running 84,000 errands I ran into her around town. I asked her what she'd been up to and she said she was nursing a cold and planned on staying in that night and watching a movie, but couldn't decide which one. I told her she could borrow one of my DVDs and said I had a copy of SHAG that she was welcome to.

She looked at me like I had 3 heads, "Shag? What the hell is that movie? I've never heard of it." I told her it was the cutest little movie set in the 60s about 4 girls from South Carolina who head to Myrtle Beach for a little getaway.

I explained it was a movie about friendship and finding out who you really are, regardless of where you came from. The whole movie culminates with one of the characters participating in a Shagging dance contest at the Pavilion. It's timeless. (Plus? Bridget Fonda and Anabeth Gish are in it! Sooo cute!)

She had zero interest in seeing it. She said it sounded ridiculous. (insert: red flag)

What?! Any girlfriend worth her weight in lip gloss loves that movie the minute they see it.

And then she got in her minivan and pulled out of her parking spot and I saw it. The source of her ickyness. The reason I just couldn't connect with her.

A Gamecock sticker on her rear windshield...and no monogram.

So you see my friends, it's not me...it's her.

That's How Much

Tonight was Open House at my second grader's school. As you may or may not know, I have been suffering from this wicked migraine for 24+ hours with no relief from the drug cocktails I've been taking.

I learned a long time ago that Coach doesn't really want to hear me complain. Especially about being sick or not feeling well. Not that he's not sympathetic, he is. But I think it makes him nervous when this strong, independent tough girl he married gets all weepy and ill. (He knows without me he'd be naked in a tree eating berries. Which wouldn't be all bad...considering the view.)

So I did mention to him that I was a little less than perfect feeling yesterday. I powered through the day again today, knowing we had a full schedule and there was nothing much I could do short of taking to the bed, which didn't seem like a very viable option.

Coach's days are pretty full to say the least. This time of year is particularly grueling with recruiting and practice and conditioning and workouts and oh, all that...I'm bored just thinking about it, being an indoorsy kind of girl. Combine that mess with Athletic Department meetings, personal workouts, etc and the boy works all the time. Up at 6am...asleep at midnight. It's his dream job, so don't misunderstand me. I'm just saying, it's a lot of hours. He's not around a lot and doesn't make appearances very often at school functions.

Back to the Open House. Today after school the minis had Catechism. Then we grabbed a snack and headed to school. Several other moms were complaining about being busy and blah, blah, blah with their hubbies in tow. I politely nodded and smiled whilst trying to keep Jack from shooting a rubber band 3 rows in front of us into the back of a girl's head (mission: failure) and giving Ryan the stinkeye for smarting off.

Headed up to Ryan's classroom for his teacher's presentation. About 1 minute into it, I turn around. Standing behind me is Coach. In his coaching gear with a smile on his face. I stand up to give him a huge hug. The minis spot him and run over to bear hug him and climb him like koalas. He kisses me lightly and we sit to listen to the rest of the teacher's speech.

Afterwards, another mom came up to me. She asked me, "Is that your boyfriend? How long have you been dating?" I cocked my head and said, "No. That's my husband!" She looked at me quizzically and said, "I thought it must be a boyfriend, you lit up when you saw him. No one's that happy to see the person they're married to!"

But I was. Migraine and all. That's how much I love him.

Uniform

Old Navy Sheer Tee

Gap Long Modal Cami

G&O Magic Pants

I am rocking a serious migraine this morning, left over from last night. Needless to say, I have 84,000 things to accomplish today, not the least of which is running off 550 copies of a 6 page PTA newsletter...cause that's how I roll.

In any case, here's today's uniform. Very comfy paired with black flip flops...if I didn't have the head situation, I'd wear some zebra ballet flats!

The minis start Catechism this afternoon and they are less than pleased. Ryan said he doesn't need to go; he already knows everything. I asked him what he knew; he said "You know, Son of God, walked on the water, going to return in the future, all that stuff." Out of the mouths of babes. Jack is very interested to know if they will get stamps for good behavior, in the shape of Skulls. Umm, notsomuch at the Catholic church. But hey, one can hope, right? Personally, I plan on being lulled into a nice little one hour nap in the monogrammed minivan by the vocal stylings of stone cold silence. I'm just saying.

So I am off to Jack's school, got to hold my street cred as a kick arse PTA President.

Migraine Induced Smooches to you all.

Darius and Sugarland

If you went to Clemson in the 90s, you most likely have a special place in your heart for Darius Rucker. I am loving these 2 songs...I've always been a Sugarland fan.

Try to get them out of your pretty little heads this Tuesday morning!

Labor Day

I slept in this morning and thusly rewarded the minis with a 2 hour jaunt to the park. I of course encouraged races and running to wear them out. Mission acomplished.

I am off today in search of a new printer cable (tres fun) whilst Coach is home managing the children for a bit.

Back in a bit with something wildly entertaining...I am sure.