Vaca Deets

We're back. Boo hiss. Got home last night after the world's longest car ride. It was raining and every place we stopped was oogy and packed. To be expected on the busiest travel day of the year, but frustrating nonetheless. I did however have a Grande Espresso Truffle from Starbucks which helped...immensely.

I do have to give a shout out to the minis though, they couldn't be better behaved in the car. One minor issue over sharing a game and that was it.

I can't even think straight yet, but I am sure I'll get it together today. Especially to tell you about the super sweet lunch I had on the way down to the beach...and I have a photo! Tomorrow, maybe. Can't even find the camera this morning.

I will say this, we stopped at Whataburger on the way home and a family pulled up in a yellow Hummer. Of course, that got my attention, just because. The Dad was sporting black pushed up sweatpants and a Devil Rays sweatshirt...and a FANNY PACK!! Mom also chose sweatpants, although hers were grey old school Hanes style with the elastic waist and ankles. She was rocking a faux Dooney that was bubble gum pink. Her hair was pulled back from her face with a a rolled up red bandanna that was tied atop her mop in a knot with the tail sticking up. But they were driving a Hummer...you can't imagine the juxtaposition.

Say Cheese

At 6am today my entire family was up and at the beach for a photo shoot. It was 47 degrees. The only other morons out that early were jogging or just woke up ocean side from a night of brewskies.

I now have total empathy for those Sports Illustrated swimsuit models.

Gobble Gobble

Happy Thankgiving.

I hate Thanksgiving food.

Not really, but I do think turkey is pretty disgusting and dressing/stuffing? PIMMAL.

Being at the beach lightens the blow a little. The fact that I am still in my pajamas is also contributing to the delightfulness of it all.

Can I get a gobble gobble in the comments with your favorite turkey day food?

Black Friday

I just don't see anything in the Black Friday ads that is terribly exciting this year.

Hmmmm...am I missing something?

Literary Oversight

If you have to go to an airport in Florida at 10:15pm to pick up your husband, do NOT forget to bring a book.

His flight WILL be delayed for an hour (because some drunk guy had to be escorted from the plane...after it had started on the runway) and you will be accosted by an elderly Jewish lady (83 year old Myrle from Saginaw, Michigan) who wants to discuss theology with you.

It will be terribly uncomfortable for you to extricate yourself from the conversation.

It will take every fiber of your carbon based being for you to move elsewhere and pretend to be talking on the phone.

I'm just saying.

Well, I Never...

One of my stops yesterday was Old Navy, where I spotted these. Hmmm, I thought to myself. Self, those are fabulous! And at $17.50, they are even MORE fabulous. I dig this color, the Cosmopolitan Berry, but they had black, a gorgeous blue, etc.

The more I thought I about it, I thought they would be the PERFECT gift for Lawyer's Wife over at The Pink Clutch. Since she and I are practically soul mates, I obviously know what size her feet are. I snatched them up, so proud of my selection...she's quite the fashion maven, and these surely would not disappoint.

Today, I was out searching for a particularly elusive article of clothing (which I did NOT find, btw)...and was back in Old Navy.

I happened to be on the phone with Lawyer's Wife and so I pulled the old "Hey, have you seen those flats at Old Navy with the grosgrain rosette? They are super cute." You know, testing the waters to see if she adores them as much as I do. Even though I already know she will. Duh.

She floors me. "Ewww. Step away from them. Don't touch them. Don't even think about trying them on. Ugh."

Well...um, I guess I don't know her as well as I thought.

I hang my head and go back in to return them. The clerk says, "You just bought these yesterday, did you need a different size?" I shake my pony tailed head, "No. They are evidently horrid looking, I just found out myself." Wildy confused I was! I loved them, they were so darling they made me sweat a little with the possibilities of having a pair of my own. Alas, I have no taste. Who knew?

I call Lawyer's Wife later to confess to her that I had bought her the shoes she evidently finds so repulsive and she bursts out laughing.

"Really?!" she says, "I bought them for YOU and I didn't want you to end up with 2 pair!"

Ahh, see...soul mates after all. And the little turkey had bought 2 pair for herself already!

Sunday...SUNday!

Woke up this morning to a steaming cup of java and the newspaper. Read it cover to cover and then headed to the pool.

Grabbed some lunch and then hit the beach with the minis. Divine.

Sat on my arse in the sunshine whilst they investigated sea urchins and the like.

What's better than that?

Navigation Affliction

Just so we're perfectly clear.

If you are going to Florida from Atlanta, you will get there much more quickly if you head South on I-75.

Not 40 miles North on I-75 toward Chattanooga.

Frick.

Beach Bound

It's 6:30pm on Friday.

In 12 short hours, the minis and I will be beach bound in the monogrammed minivan. Assuming I rally from the bubble bath I am about to embark on.

At which point of that 10 hour drive I may be re-evaluating my decision to eat fajitas tonight...I can't be sure. I will NOT however, feel the need to re-evaluate this outfit, which I will be sporting for the drive. (Chocolate velour pants and cherry long sleeve tee from Old Navy, Quilted Cocoa colored vest from Walmart $12!!!...shhh! Don't tell!) Oh, and brown flip flops...duh.

No worries, though. I'll have Internet access.

Not Gonna Do It

I simply can't go to bed on an ugly blog note. Sooooo, here's something happier.

The day started out with a hot shower, Hair Cycle: Day 1. Lawyer's Wife showed up bright and early with a Chai Latte from Starbucks and the world's cutest Santa mug.

Today I hosted a Monogram Me trunk show where some of my bestest GA girlies came over to play. We feasted on marbled (sort of) pound cake and drank our weight in hot chocolate. I made a little hot chocolate station with whipped cream, crushed peppermints, mini chocolate chips, white chocolate chips, chocolate syrup, candy canes and marshmallows. I put everything in those little polka dot and striped mini buckets from the almighty Dollar Spot at Target. It was right nice, if I do say so myself. We bought aprons and wine glasses and blankets and travel mugs and well, just about everything cute you've never thought of but simply must have.

Then Stella stayed and rearranged my furniture and cleaned my floors and did my dishes. That totally rocked. Duh.

2 of my favorite girlfriends called long distance (does anyone say "long distance" anymore?) to gossip. Then Coach came home and managed the bedtime fiasco whilst I meandered through Super Target.

Stopped by a friend of a friend's birthday party and headed home.

Sort of a great day....yes?

Swap Rudeness

Girlies,

If you signed up for the swap and got assigned a partner, I insist that you respond to your partner, in one manner or the other.

I love and adore all of you, but this Clemsongirl has some other stuff to manage (2 jobs, 2 children, PTA presidency,packing for a beach trip...the usual). So if you could go ahead and fulfill the commitment you made to participate...that would be great. (Insert the boss voice, Bill Lumbergh, from Office Space here.)

If not, let your partner know. Cause if you fail to handle this? I will call you out on the blog. And you will feel silly, pinky swear.

I think we all know how I feel about quitters.

KTHNXBAI

Dude

Dude.

That's the only word I can think of to describe to you how cold it is this morning.

Don't misunderstand me, I am a Midwestern girl. I KNOW cold. I know snow and ice and frozen tundra (read: cornfields). I lived through the '84 blizzard in Indy. Our golden retriever puppy had to tunnel out to do her thing. It's brutal. I've been in 84,000 layers of clothing and 2 sleeping bags, under blankets at a Chicago Bears game on a day so cold, I thought I might die.

I've ridden on a ^&*# sleigh ride (thanks Dad!) in Colorado wearing ski gear on a night that was so terrifyingly cold, we may or may have bidden one another Adieu in thoughts that might be our last moments.

But since 1993 I have lived, by the grace of God, in the South of these United States.

I have certain expectations that coincide with my residency here.

Polite children who say yes ma'am.
Men and boys who open doors for the ladies.
The Chik-fil-a employee saying, "It's been my pleasure to serve you."
The sign at the grocery store saying "Return buggies here" instead of "carts"
The all important addition of lip gloss...even to get your mail.

Most importantly? Not freezing my arse off in November.

Fix it. Immediately.

I'm just saying.

Is it just me...

...or are your children being INSANE as well?

Mine can not get along worth a damn and are fighting and hitting and kicking and ughhhh.

Currently, they are in Ryan's room reading to each other as a consequence for hitting. I realize that seems odd, but I will force them to be together until they can be friends today. My mother used to lock my brother and I in the basement together until we could get along. (Albeit said finished basement had a sectional, cable TV and closets full of toys...)

I had the minis 24 months apart for a reason.

So they could play with each other and I could sit on my arse drinking Diet Whateversonsale.

Kidding...sort of.

Friend of a Friend

Do me a favor today...

Stop over at The Pink Clutch and send good thoughts to Lawyer's Wife. Her middle child is having some minor surgery today. All is good, but you know how stressful that is when it's one of your minis!

Tell her Clemsongirl sent you!

Hmpf...

Seriously? Not one of you is going to comment on the fact that I used "Olfactory" in my title? At 11 pm? Truly, you surprise me.

I'm waiting on tenterhooks.

Olfactory Analogy

Not to be outdone by his little brother, Ryan had his own opinions this morning about church.

We were walking into 8:30 (that's AM!) Mass and he started making that "I smell something bad" face and sniffing really aggressively.

I asked him what was wrong.

He said, "Church is like a hospital. You only go because you have to. It smells funny and you can't wait to get out of there."

Ummmm, well...there you go. From his lips to God's ears.

Saturday

This morning Coach had to head to the University to meet with a recruit. I took over his breakfast preparation for the minis when he had to leave.

He had done the hashbrowns but not the eggs. I finished the browns and scrambled the boys some eggs. I always add a splash of milk to them before I scramble them so they are nice and fluffy. Coach is more of a traditionalist with the eggs, no milk.

Jack took one bite of the eggs and said, "Who made these eggs?"
Ryan tasted them and said, "Duh. Mommy."

Jack laughed and said, "They are awesome. Daddy's taste like half a chicken."

Now, I have no flipping idea what he meant or why that was funny, but I sure did call Coach to rub it in.

I am off to pack suitcases for a week at the beach, the minis and I are headed there Friday-ish and Coach flies down the middle of next week!

Because It's Christmas

Several of you have expressed interest in joining the swap late...and since I love you all sooo much...I am adding the following girlies to the swap! Just because you're late recruits, don't feel less special! Smooches.

Kristen G & Sassy Cass & Chic Chauffeur (it's a 3 way, work it out!)
Tickled Pink Momma & Molly
Queen Stella (queen_ rollog @msn.com) & Patti (pwhitcomb@bellsouth.net)

Substitute

If Coach is out of town, should I call my blog ClemsongirlandtheCOUCH instead of ClemsongirlandtheCOACH?...because the man is basically gone the entire month of December.

I'm just saying.

S Stands For...

Although last Christmas, Coach determined that the word Fazoli's was Italian for...well, click here to read exactly what he said...

Almost a year later Jack has come up with another jaw dropper.

Yesterday we were in the monogrammed minivan headed to PSR (CCD/Religious Ed) which the minis can't stand. Which is super since they only have to go every damn Wednesday for 11 more years...I'm just saying.

Anyhoo, 5 year old Jack pipes up from the back of the van,

"You know what? The S is PSR stands for shit."

Indeed, that's my baby. The milky white skin, the blue eyes and the trucker mouth...just like his Mama.

Coiffure

To all my local girlies...go get your hair done!

Ask for the fabulous owner of Andrew Layne at she'll have you looking fabulous. I'm pretty sure she can give you the Barbie flip if you so desire...

or a great cut and color!

You can even book your appointment online...how cool is she?!

Did I mention that the owner is HAIR GIRL?!

Wednesday

Dude.

Guess what I have to do today?

Zip. Niente. Nada. Zero.

Feels pretty good!

Matchmaker, Matchmaker...

...make me a match...find me a find...catch me a catch...

Here are your Swap Partners! Picked at total random except for mine. I'm the hostess, I get to choose... hee hee

Please get in touch with one another via the links I added! If I have mistakenly left anyone out or have your link incorrect, please leave me a polite comment and I will correct the error.

Please leave a comment on this post to let me know you saw your partner. Thanks bunches!

It would be very, very un-Clemsongirlish for you to neglect to send a package. If you've changed your mind, let me know. Otherwise...get shopping and shipping!

Kate & Amy B
Jen & SouthernBelle

Rachel Ann & Kattmd

Sarah & Amy C

Champagne and Sundresses & Wearing Mascara

Melissa & Grovegals

Rita Kent & Marbagarbo

Seaside Prep & Gwen

Jodee & Capegirl

Catholic Runner & Cyndi

Mom on the Run & Denim and Pearls

Monogrammed Teacher & MGBHLH

Adcock Circus & MG

HairGirl & Mrs. Preppy

Kelly & Jennifer (mom of 4)

Ashlie R (agginole@comcast.net) & Tickled Pink Talk

Mrs. Newlywed & Landlocked Mermaid

Mrs. Hoops Coach & Just the Girl

Amanda & 5 Boys and Me & Mom of One for Now (it's a 3-way!)

Monogram Chick & Prissy Southern Prep

3 Under 3 & Ash

Laurie & Pink,Green and Southern

Positively Preppy in Pink & Angie

Elle & Blue Eyed Bride

Chitown Meg & The Mrs

Card Girl & Holly

klc & Jesslee

Jillian, Inc & Clemsongirl

Tahoe Girl & Preppy Nonsense

Susan & Belle

Coco & Old Friends and New Shoes

Jenny in VT & Goecke Family

Jennifer & Some Like It Southern

Lindsay & Southern Accent

Jill & Soccermo56

Amanda Baby Makes 5 & Tiaras and Tantrums

April & Elizabeth

Just Ask Beth & SCB

Hillcrest Acres & Erin

hGb & Maggi

Mags & Carla

Amanda (nothing more) & Ms. Mindless

Stacy & CAS

Semi-Slacker Mom & e.m.

Rachel & Shannon

Lis & Glenna

Vineyard Vogue & Cena

Loves Pink and Pearls (ouremergencyroom@gmail.com) & adozeneggs

JenWebb702 & Reederscorner

I Love Your Whole Face & Extraordinary Mommy

Amy aquinn1970@yahoo.com & Norah neho110@aol.com

Lynne lagarr10@yahoo.com & Jessica jpbuc1017@gmail.com

Cleveland Circle Chic maggie.callan@gmail.com & Molly DuPont mbeedup@aol.com

Simply Stitched hparramore@bellsouth.net & Dana number24staffordroad@yahoo.com

Michele mpearl@bzzagent.com & Amy Hoggle521@aol.com

Erica (franko.erica@gmail.com)& AdventuresinNewlywed

Visual Aid

I know how much you all like the visual aids, so when I refer to my ponytail doing "the Barbie Flip," this is what I mean.

Coach snapped this photo of me this afternoon whilst playing soccer with the minis. Him, not me. I was drinking a Diet Whateversonsale out of a polka dot straw and well..that's about all I was doing.

Except for rockin' the Barbie Flip, that is!

Fallish Weather

The minis "raked" and played in the leaves yesterday

Today's outfit; taking clients out early this morning up in North Georgia.

As if I needed to tell you I was wearing the Magic Pants...

Lime-ish green long sleeve tee.

Silver puffy vest...does this remind you of a Seinfeld episode...

Raspberry fleece scarf...you did go to Old Navy

yesterday and get some $1.00 scarves and hats, yes??

***Today's the last day to sign up for the swap. Go to THAT post and

leave a comment. I'll match partners late tonight.***

Tangential

I just determined what my children need for Christmas.

Off-site Storage Units...

for all their stuff.

That's it.

Get Outta My Way

Last night I was driving home at 6:40 and as you know it's totally dark at that time. I've been up and going at work all day and just want to be home and in pajamas.

Traffic is insane. If you've lived in NYC or Chicago or LA, you may think you know about traffic. My father has lived everywhere and used to laugh and me when I complained about Atlanta traffic. Until he came to visit. Then he stopped laughing. Abruptly.

It's ridiculous. The city and the commuter populous far exceeds the road space. Which is strange, because they've been working on expanding I-75 and I-85 since General Sherman left. Seriously?! It's something you can't imagine. I've heard if they triple deckered the roads it still wouldn't be enough.

A 12 mile commute can easily take 90 minutes. A 30 mile commute? Forget it during Rush Hour. Which is: 7a-10a...10:14-3p and then 3:02p-the sun comes up. Literally there is no Rush Hour. It's all damn day. Forget about 3 shifts. Hotlantans must work like 12 shifts a day to explain that cluster of cars going who knows where.

Anyhoo...I finally make it to the road my neighborhood is on. I've been in the car for 70 minutes and I am D.O.N.E. In front of me on said road? 5 adult bikers with reflective gear and flashing lights. Traffic is crawling. People are gripping the steering wheels so tight I can imagine the white knuckles. Men in suits are doing the side to side head/neck stretch to avoid road rage. I'm swearing and engaging in all of the aforementioned behaviors.

God bless those bikers for exercising or competing or whatever they are doing. God bless them for the safety ensemble they are sporting. God bless them for following safe rider rules.

But really?! Get the hell out of my way tonight. I'm exhausted want my VS Orange and Pink Plaid pajama pants like nobody's business. Clemsongirl was all done.

Clemsongirl's Swap...

Preppy Christmas Decorations Swap!

As promised, I am hosting a swap. Here are the specifics:

*Sign up by leaving me a comment with your blog address. If you want to swap and don't have a blog, leave me your email and I will match you up, too! Deadline to sign up will be this Sunday night, November 9.

* Copy this photo and add it to your blog as a linky back to me.

* I'll assign partners Monday the 10th.

* Budget is $20-25, not including shipping, but feel free to bargain shop all you want.

* Mail your package by November 22, the Saturday before Thanksgiving.

* The contents of your package are up to you...just make them Christmas decorations that are preppy and fun! You might want to exchange emails with your partner to get an idea of her style. You can include anything; ornaments, paper, kitchenware, wreaths, decorations, stockings, garland, containers, treats...you name it.

Ronald Reagan's Letter

In 1983 I was 8 years old. I wrote a very heartfelt letter to President Ronald Reagan expressing my interest in becoming the first woman President of the United States of America. Today, I am no longer interested in that position, not to mention the fact that I am still too young to be elected (hee hee I am only 33). As an aside, "Clemsongirl for President" does have a certain ring to it...perhaps I'll reconsider.

Much to my surprise and delight, he wrote back to me.

"...whether or not this country is ready for a woman President is

a choice left solely to the American people..."

Now, I realize that President Reagan was answering my question specifically about women, but I wonder if he ever truly saw the possibility of an African American President or even a woman Vice President just after his lifetime. Somehow I doubt it.

But in just a few short hours, one of those 2 things will be a reality. I am prepared to fully support either circumstance. Fully Support. I encourage you to do the same.

Go Vote my friends, go VOTE!

CRAB-by

When I worked for Disney, Human Resources was called Casting. One division was called CRAB. It stands for Cast Records and Benefits. It was housed on the lower level of the building and surrounded by files and files and files and phones. It was all very mysterious and there were "powerized" file systems. I taught Benefits classes to new Cast Members. (First meal during Orientation (Traditions) was "On the Mouse"...seriously? So damn cool to work there. And to be a Disney Princess named Snow White...but I digress.

When I was an HR Manager for Target, it was called Team Member Services. Our offices were housed in a lovely building downtown with a gym and a cafeteria. (Where I ate my weight in cheese toast while pregnant with Ryan.) Files magically disappeared to our Corporate Headquarters in Minneapolis never to be seen again by me. I taught new Team Member benefit classes.

Today, Coach works for a state University. The HR building is new and pretty on campus.

My point? This week is Benefits Re-Enrollment. In theory, I should have a pretty good handle on the whole insurance piece. Seeing as how it was my job and all. At 2 enormous corporations.

And yet? I am still flustered and confused and frustrated by the stack of papers, the seemingly non-user friendly online process and the ridiculous increase in plan premiums. So, to all of those New Hires I rolled my eyes out after explaining the same thing 84,000 times? Sorry about that, this shi-ot is complicated!

Off to decipher...

Hoodie Love

I may or may not have an addiction to "the hoodie".

I may or may not have imparted said addiction to the minis.

Took the minis out on Saturday to the Gap to pick up "winter" coats (what-ever, it's Georgia!) and the last few items on the must-have warm clothes list I made. Some Friday and weekend track pants (I am the mean mommy that makes them wear khakis and collared shirts Mon-Thurs) and a new hoodie or 2.

Well, I just couldn't decide between several colors so I let the minis get them all.

Then today, I realized that they already had 3 or 4 each. Oops.

Needless to say, if you're trying to find me; just look for the 2 minis in Gap fleeces or hoodies...that'll be us.

Friday I was walking around a little boutique in my area. I saw a woman in really darling JCrew pants and cashmere cardi. Those little Coach flats with the buckle and a bag so gorgeous it'd make you cry.

Her hair cut was so cute I wondered if she had just come from the salon. She was buying a whole mess of things I could only hope for one day and I heard her say that most of them were gifts. What a generous purchase!

Then she turned around and I saw that she had a TOOTHPICK hanging out of the side of her mouth that she was gnawing on. It was bobbing up and down as she talked.

Somehow that blew the deal for me.

I'm just saying.