Granny Camp

An email recap of Day 1 at Granny Camp...the boys arrived in Chicago late yesterday afternoon. Got this email last night.

Clemsongirl,

The boys are great! They ate a lot at dinner including pizza chicken. Jack really liked it and Ryan said it was pretty good, but not one of his favorites. It was cool because we had a family sit down dinner with GG *great grandmother* and the boys were DELIGHTFUL.

We were brushing our teeth when one of the boys spotted a real fox in the backyard. Day one at Granny Camp!

I read several chapters from How to Eat Fried Worms to the boys and then put them both to bed. I gave Ryan a book called Stone Fox which I expected him to read a few chapters from. He came downstairs after about 45 minutes and said he had finished the book. I quizzed him on details and some deeper comprehension questions.

Love,
Mom

Yes. My mom is that amazing with the minis. Sigh.

Full Day

Today I got up bright and early to show 2 fantastic Craftsman style homes in Lynwood Park. They were knock downs and rebuilt and really, really cool! The couple was darling and I think they really liked them. Wife liked my patent leather green flats and green beads, so we like her very, very much.

Then I raced home, grabbed the minis from Coach's office and took them to the airport where they boarded a flight for Chicago, Granny Camp 2009 Session 1. They were so excited I can't even tell you. 2 black rolling Samsonites and 2 orange monogrammed PBK backpacks full of treats from me and they were off. (They have since landed safely and are in Papa's car ready for 12 days of delightful Mommy-free fun.)

After I left the airport and wiped away the tears (hey, I am Catholic, I have that guilt thing going...) I went to show houses to another client downtown. She's looking for a tear down or a house to totally rehab and boy, did we see some yuck. One house had a hole in the roof so big you could see airplanes...from the kitchen.

Another had furry black mold growing on the interior walls. Bleh. I excused myself and waited outside and tried not get SARS and black lung. I am just saying.

A third smelled so fierce I almost lost my coffee (Have I mentioned I am on a big, fat diet? Well, I am and I am down 9 pounds. Which may or may not be due to cutting out the Venti Chai Lattes and Haagen Daz, but I digress) I later identified said house smell as Asian Duck Sauce and stinky feet. Which is an odd combo at best, particularly for a vacant house. Think fraternity house gone very, very bad.

Now I am home and playing with the formerly nameless puppy, Bowman.

It's all good.

Trust Me

I have so many wild and hilarious girlfriends whom (who?) I encourage to start blogs every damn day.

(Yes, I am talking to you STK and Lemony Melon).

They don't usually buy into the racket.

Lucky for you, one of my hilarious sorority sisters started a blog today at my urging. She's posted all of 2x, but really, trust me. Her Facebook status updates make me giggle. Constantly.

Tangentially she makes the perfect Alice in Wonderland to my Snow White. Soul mates for sure.

It's going to make you smile. Outloud.

Pinky swear!

www.crazyallover.blogspot.com

DietWhateversOnSale

Mother scratcher.

I just found out that Diet Pepsi has like 10 mg of caffeine LESS than Diet Coke. Bastards.

That explains my sluggish-ness during the weeks that Diet Pepsi is DietWhateversOnSale.

TAB however has the most of all 3. Not so incidentally, TAB is always the most expensive, hardest to find and yummiest by far. Plus, the can? Oh yeah, hot pink.

Barbie Flip

Nothing says summer in Atlanta like a slightly falling out humid ponytail with a Barbie Flip.

Nothing.

P.S? Minis leave for Granny Camp 2009 Session 1 on Saturday!

Mass Theories

Last Sunday in Mass Ryan staged whispered to me, "Can I drink the wine?".

I reminded him that since he had made his First Holy Communion, he never had to ask me again. He could always take Communion from then on.

Jack loudly stage whispered back "Ooooh! Ryan's not allowed to drink WINE! It's not for children!"

Ryan said, "Jackie! It's not really WINE. It's the blood of Christ!"

Dead silence. Huge wide open eyes on Jack. Then he said,

"Well. Good luck with all THAT then. Gross."

Jon & Kate...

It's been a very, very long time since I posted about a TV show. In fact, not since this disaster have I even been tempted.

But after last night's season opener of Jon & Kate + 8, I have no choice.

I will however be very brief. 2 words even.

Goat Rodeo.

Sheesh.

Mr. Fix-it

In 2002 I was very, very pregnant with Jack. I had installed new drawer pulls on a tall dresser for his nursery and the bottom 2 were very loose.

I asked Coach to please tighten them up.

Insert action: (nothing)

Fast forward to late 2003. Jack is now a crawler and said knobs are still very loose, so that I am concerned they might me a choking hazard if they came off. Repeat request to Coach.

Insert action: (nothing)

I decide that tightening them is now a power struggle and I refuse to do so myself. I remove said knobs and put them in the top drawer with the hardware.

Fast forward to 2009. Tonight, Jack finds a "phillips head screwer" and the missing knobs and informs his Daddy that "I'm gonna fix those things before you put me to bed."

Mission: accomplished. With a little help from Coach.

Go Tigers!

Clemson is hosting a Regional.

I see a roooooad trip!

Y Notes

This morning I found myself at the Y at 8am. Bleh, I know. But Clemsongirl is looking rough and that situation needs handling.

In any case, there are a few things one should know about the Y at 8am on a Saturday.

There are no 19 year old skinny girls there to motivate me, they are still at home having sweet dreams of tight booties and skinny arms.

It is equally difficult to workout as it is for me to balance on one leg in the Y shower so that I can shave my legs and not touch the walls. Ick.

The people working in child watch don't think it's at all delightful for you to be there at 7:59 tapping your feet waiting for the children's area to open.

Also? Stop staring at me like I am insane whilst I complete steps 1-84 of the Hair Cycle: Day 1 process. Yes, I know it's ridiculous. That's why I hardly ever wash my hair.

Enough said.

Mom

Happy Birthday Mom.

Also? Sorry I was such a pain in the arse for all those pre-adolescent and teenage years.

Congratulations on kicking arse in step class at...well, your age!


I love you!

Blink

I blinked and this sweet tiny baby is graduating from Kindergarten tomorrow.

Tears. Buckets of tears.

Mine, not his.

Career Day

Today Coach is headed to Ryan's school for Career Day, in his UNIFORM! (swoon)

I can only imagine what those little ones will be thinking.

More importantly, what those teachers will be thinking!

Mr. Clean

A friend of mine from high school works for a marketing company and she travels to events with Mr. Clean. The actual Mr. Clean. White tshirt, white pants, white belt, white shoes and white eyebrows. Surprisingly, he is very attractive in real life.

In any case, the minis had the opportunity to meet him at an event in Atlanta last year and thought that was damn near hysterical. He gave them a car wash kit (ha!) and they took photos with him.

Today I'll be putting the Mr. Clean Magic Bathroom Eraser to the test. I have a shower door situtation that is well, frustrating.

Hope I don't have to ask for his cell number to bless him out.

Off to scrub.
ETA: It works pretty well. I think I am slacking a bit today, not giving it 100%, trying to clean in between work calls. But it did shine the heck out the shower door...amazing what a sponge full of tiny shards of fiberglass will do...hee hee

4

4 days left of school.

I was awake at 4 am with Bowman (the puppy formerly known as the Nameless Wonder)

There are 4 piles of laundry that I need to manage today.

I found 4 grey hairs this morning.

Coincidence?

I thinketh notsomuch.

Anxiety

I hope that General Krotendorrfer is just really, really messing with my hormones because according to the calendar, I should be pretty good this week.

However, my anxiety level is approaching Def Con 3. I can't really put my finger on it, but I think that maybe the random rash of cold weather (ha! It's like 60 here) and the end school is causing me to freak out...just a wee bit.

My heart has been racing all day and I feel very overwhelmed. I am noticing how dirty the kitchen is (even though you all know Wednesday is the day I clean), how many bills are in the mailbox (really? HOA dues and religious education tuition alone might kill me!) and how dee-sgusting I look. I am talking about looking really, really rough. Possibly the worst I have looked in my entire life. It's all so very gross. Head to toe gross.

I know, I know. You're thinking i just have PMS...yet, I don't. Evidently I have a case of hopefully temporary insanity.

How's that for honesty?

Best Email EVER

I just opened this gem of an email, and I am not embarrassed to say that I simultaneously teared up with joy and gave a solitary fist pump into the air.

JP

Here is the itinerary for the boys. DPS will fly with them both directions

5/30 – 6/11.

Dad

You know what he's referring to? That would be Granny Camp 2009 in Chicago, and they are flying this year, so I don't even have to drive them halfway. Oh, joy of joys, it's the best 2 weeks of the year!

All in Good Fun

Ryan sleeps in loose pajama pants most nights.

In the morning he was playing with the pup. Bowman grabbed at his pant leg with his teeth and started to run...

Ryan's pants came straight down to his ankles. He was laughing hysterically.

His brother and I were laughing even harder.

I dub thee..

The nameless pup has a name!

Coach got home at 2am from a road trip and as soon as he woke up this morning (minutes before noon!), the minis and I interrogated him until we had a family vote. I swear we were about 30 seconds away from naming him Ziti, being Italian and all. But, we went back to my original idea, and named him...

Bowman!

In case you're not a Clemson alum and are wondering what that's all about...

"Randolph T.V. Bowman was one of Clemson's first assistant football coaches and the very first baseball coach. He was also an instructor in forge and foundry. It was Bowman who cleared the field that now bears his name of much of the rocks and other detritus in preparation for its use as an athletics ground. Bowman holds the Clemson distinction of having coached the very first intercollegiate match played at Clemson, a baseball game with Furman on April 24, 1896. Bowman passed away in April 1899 and Bowman Field is named in his honor.

Retrieved from "http://www.clemsonwiki.com/wiki/R.T.V._Bowman"

Of course he had to have a Clemson related name, since my blood runneth orange!

Jack Man

Yesterday was Jack's end of year kindergarten celebration at school. They have 6 more school days and everything is wrapping up. They sang songs and did a little dance and generally were adorable! His teacher (my sorority sister!) ordered the cutest cupcakes EVER.

In any case, his teacher gave out awards to the students, Best Handwriting, Math Whiz...etc. My friend Ashlie's son got the Citizenship Award. Which is fitting since his Daddy is a Preacher!

Jack got the Writing Award for "Great stories. We always love your Journal Entries."

Be still my heart.

My little writer. The apple falls not far from the tree.

Sigh...

Letter to the children

Dear Precious Minis,

I know that you are about to come out of your skin with excitement regarding this (almost named) puppy.

I realize that you are so anxious to play with him, your internal clocks are all wound up and you may wake up a little earlier than the required 6:30am to get ready for school.

That said, if you wake up at 5:45am and said (almost named) puppy is STILL SLEEPING in his darling little crate and you WAKE HIM UP...

Well, Mommy is going to be really, really frustrated. Mostly because I am sleeping on the couch in close proximity to said (almost named) puppy so that I can cater to his night time needs as Coach is out of town. I won't tell you that I am irritated though, because I appreciate and respect your desire to pet him and love him and smell his sweet puppy breath. I too, have the urge to rub his little head every waking minute. Please note, I said "waking minute".

But you WILL accompany me to the Sonic Drive-Thru at 7:10am on the way to school and you will NOT judge the Route 44 Diet Coke with Lime I am now entitled to suck down out of the blessed polystyrene cup filled with the perfect ratio of crushed ice to carbonated deliciousness.

Love and kisses,
Mommy

P.S. No. The two of you may NOT have an orange cream slush at 7:10am as a reward for "being so sweet to the (almost named) puppy.

A rose by any other name

" 'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague?
it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man.
O, be some other name!
What's in a name?
that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself." - Juliet

I promise. The pup will have a name soon. It's harder than I expected!

The Nameless Wonder

Remember yesterday when I posted about getting organized for summer? Well, part of my motivation was that this little peanut is our latest addition.

I promise to remember that he is a dog and not a baby, but just indulge me for a couple of posts of puppy photos, deal?

We adopted this little pup yesterday. He remains nameless as of yet, but promises to add lots of new blog material. He is 7 weeks old. Mom is a Golden Retriever and Dad is a Lab. So, that makes him...well, just perfect so far. He cried a lot last night, but is currently sound asleep in the master bathroom, where I am waiting to give him a bath.

Coach is in love. Can't you just see him running around the baseball field? Of course the pup is going to soon be an 85 pound enormous ball of energy!

Now, we just have to think of the perfect name...

Everyone is shocked that he's not already been dubbed Tiger... :)

T-10 Days

Ten school days left.

YIKES! Working on summer plans for the minis; Granny Camp 2009, etc. We're going to take a trip up to Clemson to visit some friends (shout out to you Maggie!) and of course, there will lots of swimming.

I am re-reading The Family Manager's Guide to Summer Survival by Kathy Peel, which has some fantastic tips and ideas. One of the main things I try to do for summer is to make things easier, for me and the minis!

Here's my To Do List for summer:

Little bottles of water in the fridge and freezer ready to go. Crocs and flip flops in big plastic bins ready to be grabbed by little hands. Baskets of shorts and tees that are mix and match for them to grab and go. Huge deck box in the back yard stocked with outside toys and water guns.

84,000 bottles of sunscreen strategically located on the porch, in my bag and in the monogrammed minivan. Prepacked pool bag and individual size snacks in a rubbermaid tote in the car for an impromptu trip to the park.

Summer's coming, fast. Are you ready?

May 8

Happy Birthday Dad!

I love you more than words can say.

Here She Is...Miss America

Ever notice that the outgoing Miss America is never too terribly sad to be handing over the crown to the new Miss America? I never really understood that.

Until I became PTA President that is.

Don't misunderstand me, PTA is no scholarship competition (read: beauty pageant) but I equate the work involved to the travel and public speaking and criticism. Oh, except PTA doesn't make you wear a swimsuit. Yet.

Today was the last official PTA event of the year, Teacher Appreciation luncheon. I have 2 more checks to write and it's all downhill from there.

I packed up the leftovers from said luncheon and dropped them off at the Cobb County fire station near the school. (Truth be told, I may or may not have broken into the kitchen and put some things in their fridge as they were out on a call...but the front door was unlocked...and I left a note with my cell number)

Best wishes to the incoming President. The PTA crown is super fun to wear. For about 6 weeks.

Uh, Notsomuch

Just got an email from Brunswick and the subject line was : "Take Mom bowling for Mother's Day."

For the record?

You "take me bowling for Mother's Day" and I will officially resign from my position as Mother. And wife.

Truly, I can't think of anything less appealing than putting on someone else's used shoes and bowling on the one day of the year I am supposed to be honored. (Not that they shouldn't honor me EVERY DAMN DAY, but let's be truthful.)

Drinking flat soda from a plastic cup at room temperature and listening to Disco hits of the 70s for the ubiquitous Cosmic Bowling is NOT my idea of a good time.

Just so we're perfectly clear.

Communion Pics

Seriously? This little sport coat and tie kill me. So sweet!

Papa Jack and his boys.

Love this one. Plus? The monogrammed flowerpot is too perfect!

Clearly, this is not a nervous First Communicant!

The ubiquitous self-portrait. Could we look MORE alike?

Weekend

I am still here, I promise!

Pics of the First Communion, etc are coming.

Just a few things I need to get to before I blog...like brush my hair, which is, ahem c-razy.

Oh, and maybe take a shower...

O'Dark Thirty

There is only one reason I find it acceptable when the minis are up at 5:30am.

Then Jack and Diane (aka Granny and Papa) are here visiting.

My understanding is that Papa Jack and my Jack were listening to Skippy Jon Jones on CD at o'dark thirty.

Have I mentioned how much I love my parents?!