5 Boys

Were you on MARTA today? Did you see Skinny and I with these 5 cutie boys? So much fun and so much work.

It's a Virtue

Just checked my email and recieved the Parish Newsletter from our church.

To open, you must "Click Here. BE PATIENT."

Sheesh, it's tough to be Catholic, even online.

My Brain is a Sieve

It must be, otherwise I would not have the time and/or brain space to think about things like this.

How we insert the name of a Celeb/Famous Idiot/Politician who has done something hinky and use it as a verb to describe the act.

"Better be careful if you go hunting with him, he might Cheney you."

"She complained and emasculates him. She totally Kate's him to death."

"He left town and no one knew where he was. Probably Sanforded her and is out chasing tail."

"I was sick of watching sports so I Bogarted the remote."

Other ones I can think of: Madonna'ed (went all British), Britney'd (shaved her head) formerly Sinead O'Connor'ed..., Bobbit'd (gross)...

Yeah...it's been a slow brain day.

Car Wash

Tonight I went to my favorite car wash to give the monogrammed minivan a spa treatment. (I know I deviated from my Monday schedule, but this week has been a little hinky schedule-wise.)

In any case I was vacuuming and noticed that the guy in the bay beside me was really kind of stinky. I couldn't really identify the smell, but something foody mixed with sweat maybe. Yucky. But hey, it was a long, hot day and he was cleaning his truck. Points for a clean car.

I finished with the vacuum and pulled into another bay next to the glass cleaners and air freshener spray cart. It was stinky over there, too! What in the world? I briefly thought it was my car that stunk, but then ruled that out.

I cleaned off the windows and quickly sprayed the back of the monogrammed minivan with some yummy spray. I wanted to get out of there ASAP and avoid the smell which I then had decided was shrimp, garlic and sweat.

Left the car wash and went to SuperTarget.

As I was pushing the buggy through mini-seasonal I remembered. I ate shrimp and garlic for dinner...and it had been 84,000 degrees.

Crap. I stink.

Feathers

I think I will feather my hair tomorrow in remembrance.

Sigh.

I will not, however, be sporting one white sequined glove.

Don't Cry For Me Argentina

Governor Sanford...really?

Really.

Cheater, cheater pumpkin eater.

Real Women

Real women can drink a Venti Double Shot with 375 mg of caffeine.

Then hop into the monogrammed minivan, apply VS Cherry Bomb lip gloss.

Chase the coffee with a Diet Coke.

Head off into the Real Estate sunset.

I'm en fuego.

Thoughts

Randomness...

"Agreeance" is not a word. It is the bastardization of "in agreement". It is used more frequently in my daily transactions than you can imagine.

Also? It's hot as blazes.

I Heart My Big Sunglasses

My current Facebook status:

"You can't hide fat with big sunglasses."

Redemption

Mom called.

Card was there, she overlooked it.

Whew. Bullet dodged.

Ruh-Roh

That's "Ruh-roh!" using your best Scooby Doo voice. (I personally insert a hand motion that resembles one Scooby Doo ear coming forward and one going backwards in disbelief, but that's your call.)

I mailed my Dad's Father's Day cards on Tuesday (Katie is my witness, she and I were on the phone!) and as of today they had not arrived.

This is not good.

Not good at all.

Thirtyminutes

The girl puppy's name is Thirtyminutes.

That's how long she was here before I took her back.

She and Bowman? Notsomuch.

Sigh...

Various and Sundry

3 days ago, puppy got a hold of my right index finger. Upon further investigation, I am 99.9% sure it needs a stitch or 2. I am 1000% sure I will not be seeking medical advice to confirm. I'm the Queen of Denial.

This morning, whilst walking the boys to baseball camp, Jack dropped the craziest question on me; "Mommy. Why don't you have a boyfriend?"

Maybe because Mommy has rabies from the puppy bite.

Yankee Rednecks

Yes, you read that correctly. We're Yankee Rednecks today.

Well, I am Midwestern, so I suppose that makes me a Yankee, but the children are Southern born and bred (can I get an Amen?).

In any case, I am sitting on the front porch with the laptop. It's 95 degrees at 5:30pm.

I am sporting a pair of should-be-thrown-out old yoga capris and a Preppy Sports sorority tshirt and cheap rubber flip flops. Hair Cycle Day: 84,000 piled on top of my head and make-up free. Big ole Tervis tumbler of tea. It's not a pretty sight.

The minis are riding scooters in the driveway...with helmets, but no shirts on.

Bowman the formerly nameless puppy is on his leash wrapped around the porch gable watching them.

It's all very Yankee Redneck.

And we just plumb love it.

Real Estate Update

This is a totally self-promoting infomercial. But it's my blog, and that's how we're rolling today.

Every time I post about real estate, I get emails asking if I am really a Realtor, etc. Yes, I am! Of course, I love helping you and I always appreciate referrals.

I am not just a real estate agent, I am a Realtor, (and just like the commercial) a member of the National Association of Realtors. My company is Re/Max and my offices are in Metro Atlanta. If you're somewhere else, I can certainly help you find an agent in your area that's fabulous. And, no, I won't tell your husband about your blog. hee hee

I have bought and sold houses for several bloggers who have contacted me initially through my blog email (clemsongirlandthecoach@yahoo.com). But, I am not like most of the Realtors you've met.

I won't show up in a suit and tan pantyhose with matching 80s heels. Pinky swear! In fact, on Sunday I hosted an Open House for a fellow blogger in White House Black Market gauchos and an red monogrammed tee shirt with black ballet flats. Tangential info, I know.

I'll likely try to talk you into a lower price range instead of trying to upsell you. We'll err on the side of conservatism with regard to price, always.

So, yes, I'd love to help you. Oh, and it goes without saying...we'll be hitting several Starbucks on the way.

Vanilla

Little girl on the right is coming over for a 3 day visit on Thursday to see if she can hang at the Casa de Chaos.

I hope she's whiny and bad and Bowman hates her. Otherwise....

Tuesday

Today is a new day.

Plus, I plan on wearing an orange shirt today.

Which makes EVERYTHING better.

I'm just saying.

You Owe Me

I am usually the one entertaining you...at least I hope so.

Today sucks. I mean totally been bad from the get go.

How about you cheer me up?!

Frick

I may or may not have just ended a client call by saying,

"Sounds great. We'll have that all taken care of. Peace out."

Frick.

Pretty Girl

These 12 week old females are Bowman, the formerly nameless puppy's sisters. Please someone tell me how I can possibly NOT adopt the one on the right.

It's Still Dark

It's 7:50am. The minis have been up and in my business since just before 6am. They are harassing the puppy, me and each other.

Any mother who tells you they love summer must either be; 1. a teacher or 2. crazy or 3. LYING.

First day of school is August 11. Someone do the math on that one.

Quickly, before I blow a gasket.

Ahem

We briefly interrupt our regular morning programming (read: caffeinating) to re-hang the window treatments in the family room.

Bowman the formerly nameless puppy decided they looked better yanked from the wall and into the floor. At 7am.

He's the Todd Oldham of puppies.

The Boys are Back in Town...

The minis returned to Atlanta safely today via United Airlines.

I refuse to even get their suitcases out of the monogrammed minivan (although they are full of clean clothes, thanks mom!) as to do so would be to admit that Granny Camp 2009 Session 1 is over. It's too sad to really handle, so I will think about that tomorrow.

Good night girlies, I am off to check on 2 sleeping minis.

Frankly My Dear...

I have been so good the past 4 weeks with my nutrition and exercise program. I don't really like the word "diet", and since I did engage in some ahem, questionable food choices this weekend, we're going with "nutrition program". Said choices this weekend may have included one homeade strawberry cupcake and candied pecans from Trader Joe's...a whole mess of those!

I am 12 lbs down. Which is all very nice. My arse is, well, still there.

But today?

Much like Scarlett, I don't care what Mammy says; I want to eat barbeque like a field hand. Girl is hungry.

34 and Not Counting

Really I have the most ridiculous vasovagal* reaction to all things medical and dental (and getting my hair cut...but, I digress). I pass out getting my blood pressure taken and just mention a string a medical terms and I am out cold. Show me a paper cut? Peace out girlies, I am all done. C-sections. 2 of them. Completely unconscious for both of them.

Today I powered through a dental cleaning. 34 and no cavities ever.

I vomited twice. It was lovely.

Sheesh.

Tangentially, the minis return tomorrow from Granny Camp 2009 Session 1.

*Definition of Vasovagal reaction
Vasovagal reaction: A reflex of the involuntary nervous system that causes the heart to slow down (bradycardia) and that, at the same time, affects the nerves to the blood vessels in the legs permitting those vessels to dilate (widen). As a result the heart puts out less blood, the blood pressure drops, and what blood is circulating tends to go into the legs rather than to the head. The brain is deprived of oxygen and the fainting episode occurs. The vasovagal reaction is also called a vasovagal attack. The resultant fainting is synonymous with situational syncope, vasovagal syncope, vasodepressor syncope, and Gower syndrome which is named for Sir William Richard Gower (1845-1915), a famous English neurologist. See also: Syncope.

Feel the Draft

I don't talk much about Coach's job for many reasons, but I have to give him a serious shout out this morning.

The Major League Baseball draft began last night and let's just say Coach...well, you rocked it. No one in the Casa de Chaos is prouder than I am. Smooch.

Congratulations!

Success

Tahoe Girl, a preciously pregnant Hair Girl, ClemsonGirl and The Pink Clutch

Operation: Surprise birthday party for Tahoe Girl.

Just Wait

Until tomorrow.

Can't wait to post about what's happening tonight at the Casa de Chaos!

Coincidence

Last night Coach fell asleep on Date Night.

So I watched a movie, He's Just Not That Into You.

Coincidence?

I thinketh notsomuch.

Summer Loving

The minis are still at Granny Camp. Amen.

Coach and I had a lovely evening, dinner and uninterrupted conversation (we talked about exciting things, like getting the brakes fixed on the monogrammed minivan...) and fell asleep watching TV.

This morning Bowman the puppy woke me at 5am needing to go out. (He also woke me at 1am, but who's counting?) I took the puppy out and then brought him into the family room with a Busy Bone so I could catch some more sleep. It's 5am and there is no reason for Clemsongirl to be awake. Sheesh.

20 minutes later I feel my bottom lip getting nibbled on. Awww, Coach is so sweet.

Not.

Damn dog.

Today

Today...I rocked it.

A listing.
An accepted contract.
An offer.
A lease.

That's right.

4 deals today.

Bring it.

Clemson in Cadence Count

Tigers win the baseball regional!

What's your favorite thing about Clemson?

Preppy Paper Girl Giveaway!

Seriously? The cuteness level of this giveaway is ridiculous.

I think that even though she and I are friends, I would love to win this one! Head over there and tell her Clemsongirl sent you!

Loverly. Darling. Precious.

Enough said!