April 30, 2010
Posted by clemsongirlandthecoach at Friday, April 30, 2010
April 29, 2010
I am going to tell you that I have officially discovered what PMS is. Or, more specifically, what it does.
Print this out. Give it to your husband/boyfriend/boss/brother/yard boy. Then they can understand precisely what is happening to you. I tell you, this is some bullshank.
This is PMS. Or PMDD. Or whatever the next level of hormone insanity is.
I go to bed at night. I lay there and I think about myself and my life. I'm kicking some ass in life. Taking charge of my body. Working out. Eating fantastic, healthy foods. Looking fit and feeling good. Shiny hair. New spring attitude.
My teeth are whiter, thanks to the trays I had made. My house? Totally under control and I am loving all the spring blooms outside. I can smell the lavender candles from earlier and the closets are just perfect. Meals are planned and the fridge is stocked. My clients are good. Probably going to have a couple of new contracts this week.
The new business venture that launches on Saturday is going to be stellar. I am smart and it is going to be a success. Finances are going to skyrocket. I better start thinking about some investments, clearly.
I lay my head down, thankful for my life and the positive direction it's pointed in. Tomorrow is going to be a great day. Full of potential and excitement.
Go to sleep. Enjoy a wonderful 8 hours of blissful dreams.
Wake up the next day.
Within 15 seconds of opening my eyes, I KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt that I am total loser. I'm uglier than homemade sin. My hair is gross and needs to be shaved off immediately. I am the fattest human being in the state of Georgia. Make that the entire United States. Working out is pointless. I'm beyond obese. My husband is crazy to have married me because I am the worst wife on Earth. I haven't even left the bed yet and these things I know for certain.
Tears start to fall.
I hate everything I own. I have positively nothing to wear and my house is a complete disaster. It is tiny and gross and it will never, ever be clean again. There is no way that I can accomplish anything today, least of all unload the dishwasher.
I am completely stupid. A toddler has more multi-syllable words than I do. My clients hate me. My new business is a complete mistake and no one will ever want to invest in it. I couldn't possibly go to a meeting because I'd probably get lost and never, ever find my way back to pick up the children.
Oh, the children. I'm ruining them. Irreparable damage is being done by my terrible mothering. Family Services is bound to knock on my front door at any moment. I am a loser. I want to eat an entire pizza. And 4 bags of M&Ms. At one sitting. While I am watching Lifetime movies. In my size XXL pj pants. Which I probably won't be able to find. I can't find my own brain, how could I possibly locate an item of...what's that word again? Oh, clothing. It has 2 syllables, I couldn't, um, remember.
Did I mention, I am a complete idiot? It's amazing to me that I have a friend in the world. Sobbing now, and trying not to pass out from the approaching migraine, intense lower back pain and cramps. Actually it's probably not a migraine. It must be an aneurysm. My back obviously needs surgery and these cramps are most likely cancer. I'm dying. That's it. Death is imminent, that's the only logical explanation for all of this.
That my gentle readers, is PMS. I do not exaggerate because once a month, this actually happens. For 3 very, very long days. Then, magically, things return to normal. For 28, very, very short days.
So, no. I'm not having a bad day. I'm not weepy or emotional. I have PMS.
And you thought it was no big deal.
Sniff, sniff. *holding lower back, rubbing temples and wiping tears*
Posted by clemsongirlandthecoach at Thursday, April 29, 2010
April 27, 2010
I used to wake up every day and sort of scratch my head and wonder what the day might hold. Yes, I have a job as a Realtor, but that schedule is random and totally unpredictable. There were days that I spent rushing to and from my office, taking care of clients, contracts and closings. Then there were days I stayed at home, in my magic pants. I cleaned the Casa de Chaos religiously every Wednesday.
I was really involved with PTA. President, in fact! I was at school all the time and organizing this and that. Volunteer committee? Count me in. Parent Council? Sure thing! You name it, I'd do it.
I stayed up late. Really, really late. Everyone knew I "managed it all". Got it all done. Call Clemsongirl, she will rock that! And I did. With a Barbie flip in my ponytail.
Except I wasn't taking care of me.
Now, that's all changed. In January of this year, I stopped volunteering and I stopped eating crap. Literally woke up and decided I was done. Don't get me wrong, I love a Chick-fil-a waffle fry once a month and I share the minis' dessert when we go out. But I am eliminating most processed foods and buying organic when I can. I am on a nutrition plan that involves real food, real calories and real success. I have lost 27 lbs busting my arse in the gym. Oh, that. Yes, I am there most every week day, even though I don't love it. I send texts to FitGirl and PreppyPaperGirl from the gym whining and moaning. Then, I run another mile. Lift another set and lunge down the basketball court one more time. In my 2-sizes-smaller pants. Duh.
I gave up Diet Whateversonsale for 40 days during Lent. I am down to one a day and trying to quit altogether. That's a tough one, I need the caffeine to ward off the world's worst migraines, but don't want the calories of say, sweet tea. I know, unsweet tea. Baby steps. Hush. I go to bed early. Really early. Although everything is early compared to 2am, yes? Starbucks is still my bff, although I've changed my drink. Again.
I take a multi vitamin and 2 other supplements for the migraines. Shocker. I realize that I have teased Coach relentlessly for his supplement habit, and now I am driving that train. I drink protein shakes in the morning and snack on crazy things like raw nuts and yogurt.
The Casa is still clean. Occasionally someone else is responsible for cleaning it. Which I truly appreciate. I am still selling and loving real estate of course. In fact, had 2 of my favorite clients out today. But I also have a new venture.
It launches on Saturday and you'll be the first to hear.
I just needed to write this so you know what I'm working on instead of posting all the time.
Gotta run and confirm the sitter for tomorrow. Wednesday's date night now...that calls for a fabulous Barbie flip.
Posted by clemsongirlandthecoach at Tuesday, April 27, 2010
April 25, 2010
April 22, 2010
I had big plans today involving errands, working out and giving the monogrammed minivan a spa treatment. Do a ton of site editing for my new venture and stop by a friend's.
9 year old Ryan woke up feeling less than stellar. Thursdays are a super fun day for him at school, and he gets to do some really exciting things. So I knew for sure that he truly feel puny when he decided to lie back down after a shower and breakfast.
He's now lying in the guest bed upstairs, and I went up to check on him. A preschool cartoon was on, and I asked him if he wanted me to change it for him. He lifted that little head off the pillow and said, "I don't care what's on. Just turn it off."
I'm very supportive of the Mental Health Day and staying home when you need it. But clearly, Ryan is truly down for the count today.
Sigh...I love being a mom.
I'm thinking I'll upload some pics for you instead.
Posted by clemsongirlandthecoach at Thursday, April 22, 2010
April 20, 2010
I have been reading everything I can get my hands on about being fit, eating right and generally treating this (now 35!!) year old body with as much respect as I can. You know how much I adore Rachel Cosgrove's Female Body Breakthrough. Just finished Bethenny Frankel's Naturally Thin and I love her idea about your nutrition being a bank account.
In any case, I thought I was suffering from some wicked allergies, but as it turns out, it's a cold/sinus 1-2 punch. Delightful. (Coach absolutely went out to get me meds last night and let me sleep until 10am today!) Not one to lie around and suffer, I decided to take my suffering out into the wild of Atlanta. Known as the nail salon. (I Purelled, relax.)
On the way I stopped at Starbucks to get a coffee for Coach and my new usual, Skinny Vanilla Latte. But I really didn't want a Skinny Vanilla Latte. I really wanted my old usual, Skim Chai Latte. Which has a hot mess of sugar and calories. So, I stopped and really thought it through.
I had eaten a fantastic breakfast of yogurt and blueberries. My lunch plan was grilled chicken and salad.
So. So I ordered the Chai. And it was delightful. Made me feel less sick that I really was, and the following manicure more enjoyable.
Was it a great choice? Certainly not. But I had been making great food choices (seemingly forever) and the differential was worth it to me.
Confession? I couldn't even finish it.
Big thanks to Bethenny Frankel and Rachel Cosgrove. Thier books have changed me in the 35th year. It's a work in progress, but hats off to the them both.
For making me a better me.
Posted by clemsongirlandthecoach at Tuesday, April 20, 2010
April 18, 2010
Oh, how I have missed you! It would be bullshank for me to not apologize for my absence. You know how re-entry is after a vaca...bleh. But I owe you an "I'm sorry" for leaving you hanging.
I am thrilled to announce that my business partner Susan and I have just licensed a new website for women. We will be managing all of Metro Atlanta (just 5 million people!) and are bursting with excitement at the potential. We are working with businesses and getting ad accounts set up as we speak. It involves alot of writing, so that is just perfect. You know, I just remembered that I got a creative writing award in 5th grade...how's that for foreshadowing?
We take the site live in a couple of short weeks, and I promise you will be the first to know! In the mean time...
I've been working out and loving it. Ok, that is a total lie. I don't love it AT ALL, but I love the results. I wore a dress on Sunday in a size I haven't worn in years and without Spanx. You Southern girls know how hot it can be ... and amen for that. I feel so much better for eating right and with the exception of tonight, have been getting copious amounts of sleep. I still have a ways to go, but I'm on it!
Alright girlies, I am off for some beauty sleep. Stay tuned for pics, news and amazing Bonnano's discount!
Posted by clemsongirlandthecoach at Sunday, April 18, 2010
April 15, 2010
I'm back from vaca and having been back at work like a little workhorse. Closings this week were icing on the proverbial cake. Not that I'm eating cake these days!
I have some super exciting news to share with you and am bursting to tell you...(no, I am NOT pregnant!)
I'll be back with the full scoop, but here's a hint...
Posted by clemsongirlandthecoach at Thursday, April 15, 2010