What To Tell Your Children

I'm not a psychologist, I'm not a teacher and I am surely not a political pundit. Take this post at face value.

I'm a Mama. A Mama who knew immediately last night that I had some explaining to do to my children about the killing of Osama Bin Laden. My mind raced trying to come up with the words I would use to explain to Ryan, 10 and Jack, 8.

On September 11, 2001 Ryan was not quite 6 months old and Jack was still a dream. But that evening, I wrote my children a letter. I explained to them what happen, using words that I imagined children could understand. There are tears on that letter, and, like on this blog, I didn't edit my feelings.

In 2003, my mother bought 2 children's books for the the minis which we have read repeatedly and discussed ad nauseum. I have included the links below if you're interested.

The first one is, The Little Chapel That Stood. It is the story of St. Paul Chapel which is situated between the Twin Towers. It not only survived 9/11, but served as a comfort and base for those serving in the days that followed.

The second book is, September 12: We Knew Everything Would Be Alright. It is written mostly by 1st graders, with art work that addresses the simple comforts and daily routines following 9/11. It is a hopeful book that tells children that even after bad things happen, things will be ok.

I pulled those books out, re-read them and made some notes. I sat the minis down this morning and used the words that I thought would be helpful to them.

I said,

"I know you remember what happened on September 11 with the airplanes and the Towers. Ten years ago many, many people on our country were killed. Some of them were normal people just going to work. A lot of them were firefighters, EMT, and police officers. There was a man who was the boss of the terrible group of people called Al Quaeda. They are terrorists. They hate America. They hate us.

When that happened, President Bush told the American people that we would find that man, named Osama Bin Laden. For 10 years, our soldiers have been looking for him. He has been hiding. Last week, they told the new President, who is the head of the military, that they were pretty sure they knew where he was. President Obama gave them permission to go there, and to kill him. Yesterday they found him. They shot him with a gun and he is dead.

I need you to listen very carefully boys. Are you listening to me? Look at my eyes and listen.

That will never happen to you. That happened to a very horrible man who did horrible things. Your Daddy and I will keep you safe, and so will the soldiers that protect you. Do you understand? That happened very far away from us. You would have to take a plane to get there. Not here. Not close to our house or your school.

I know it's confusing and you have lots of questions. I will answer all of those questions. When you get to school today, people are going to be talking about this. Many of your friends may say some really stupid things about this. I need you to understand that talking like that is not ok.

If you hear people saying inappropriate things, this is what I want you to say.

"I am glad our soldiers are keeping me safe." Just like we say whenever we see a soldier. We shake their hands and say "Thank you for keeping me safe." None of those soldiers were hurt yesterday.

When you get home, you can tell me all of the things that your friends were saying at school. It's absolutely ok to repeat all of those things to me and to Daddy. It is not ok to repeat them to anyone else.

This is a big deal. My stomach hurts, and maybe yours does too. Tell me what questions you have. I don't know everything but I will help you figure it out."

Jack had some questions about guns and the Ten Commandments. I used this opportunity to talk to them about the Catholic Church's stance on respect for human life and legitimate defense. In little people words of course.

When I pick the minis up from school, I am prepared for more discussion and questions. I am prepared to help them navigate the comments and thoughts of their friends. I expect that Sister Mary Jacinta may have prayed with them.

These might not be the right words for your children. Maybe they are older, or younger or more scared. I don't know if these are the words I should have used. I do know that we need to talk to them. To ensure them they we are doing everything we can to keep them safe.

God Bless America. God Bless Our Children.