This is, um. Wow.
Last week I registered the minis for soccer. Barf. I'm notsomuch a fan of "the sports". Or the outdoors. Or the elements. Or the schlepping of equipment and gear to and from the field. I don't enjoy the parents yelling and getting all worked up. I hate the hot, depise the cold and God help me if it's raining.
Some of the games start really early and I have to bring my Starbucks and my chair and my lipgloss and well, it's just exhausting. Plus, there is a contingent of parents who actually WATCH the game instead of gossiping with me and that's just plain disconcerting.
Not to mention that it's all "couple-y". You know, Saturday morning, couples all cozy with their blankets and matching chairs and here I am playing zone defense with 2 kids all myself. Barf.
In fact, the last time I remember enjoying a soccer game, was in 1982...in this photo below. My dad was my Coach and I was 7. My mom rocked my pigtails and let's be honest, it's really all about the hair and a rocking uniform color. Am I right? Kelly green EUYSA vneck and white shorts? Yes freaking please! Kelly green knee high socks with a white fold down top? *swoon* Please also note that I have the exact same hair now, minus the bangs, and I wore pigtails yesterday. Thankyouverymuch.
Guess who is coaching Ryan's U14 (that's ages 10, 11, 12 and 13) co-ed soccer team this season?
Wait for it...
No, you did not just have a small stroke. Me. The league is short on coaches so... yeah. I know. You're processing. Me too. It's a lot of information. Sit down. Get a drink if you need to. I certainly did.
I found out 3 days ago. It was a bit shocking. But I've managed to work through some of that initial panic. I got a book. I made some calls. I did some internet research. It's going to be just fine. I will rock a Barbie flipped ponytail (with a grosgrain bow of course) and I will power through it. I will hide my fear and embarrassment I will sacrifice for my child. He needs me to do this and so I will. What's the worst thing that can happen? I mean I have to wear a uniform shirt that likely says "COACH" on the back, but I mean ... oh NO...
Oh freaking YES.
Guess what ugly arse horrible color our team is?
Gamecock freaking GARNET. A small (huge) part of me died when I saw that. Garnet. Really? There are an infinite number of colors that I would be happy to wear. There is ONE color I don't wear. Ever. For any reason. And that color is Gamecock Garnet.
And we are the Garnet Cyclones. WTF.
I called my Dad. We determined that I am going to have to wear something pink under that jersey AT ALL TIMES. Because frankly, if that color touches my lily white skin?
I may die of bird flu.