Y'all.
This is, um. Wow.
Last week I registered the minis for soccer. Barf. I'm notsomuch a fan of "the sports". Or the outdoors. Or the elements. Or the schlepping of equipment and gear to and from the field. I don't enjoy the parents yelling and getting all worked up. I hate the hot, depise the cold and God help me if it's raining.
Some of the games start really early and I have to bring my Starbucks and my chair and my lipgloss and well, it's just exhausting. Plus, there is a contingent of parents who actually WATCH the game instead of gossiping with me and that's just plain disconcerting.
Not to mention that it's all "couple-y". You know, Saturday morning, couples all cozy with their blankets and matching chairs and here I am playing zone defense with 2 kids all myself. Barf.
In fact, the last time I remember enjoying a soccer game, was in 1982...in this photo below. My dad was my Coach and I was 7. My mom rocked my pigtails and let's be honest, it's really all about the hair and a rocking uniform color. Am I right? Kelly green EUYSA vneck and white shorts? Yes freaking please! Kelly green knee high socks with a white fold down top? *swoon* Please also note that I have the exact same hair now, minus the bangs, and I wore pigtails yesterday. Thankyouverymuch.
Sooo...Fast forward.
Guess who is coaching Ryan's U14 (that's ages 10, 11, 12 and 13) co-ed soccer team this season?
Wait for it...
ME.
No, you did not just have a small stroke. Me. The league is short on coaches so... yeah. I know. You're processing. Me too. It's a lot of information. Sit down. Get a drink if you need to. I certainly did.
I found out 3 days ago. It was a bit shocking. But I've managed to work through some of that initial panic. I got a book. I made some calls. I did some internet research. It's going to be just fine. I will rock a Barbie flipped ponytail (with a grosgrain bow of course) and I will power through it. I will hide my fear and embarrassment I will sacrifice for my child. He needs me to do this and so I will. What's the worst thing that can happen? I mean I have to wear a uniform shirt that likely says "COACH" on the back, but I mean ... oh NO...
Oh freaking YES.
Guess what ugly arse horrible color our team is?
Gamecock freaking GARNET. A small (huge) part of me died when I saw that. Garnet. Really? There are an infinite number of colors that I would be happy to wear. There is ONE color I don't wear. Ever. For any reason. And that color is Gamecock Garnet.
And we are the Garnet Cyclones. WTF.
I called my Dad. We determined that I am going to have to wear something pink under that jersey AT ALL TIMES. Because frankly, if that color touches my lily white skin?
I may die of bird flu.
16 comments:
I *ALMOST* had to coach both of my girls' soccer teams last year & had panic attacks about it for a solid week until I found out I was off the hook. Team Mom, I can rock. I can make a snack calendar like no one's business. Actually COACH a sport that I cried legit tears over going to practice?! Notsomuch.
You will rock it out, like you do everything else though! In my next life, I aspire to be half as awesome as Clemson Jenn ;)
See, if you lived by me you could have gotten out of it. Nobody's allowed to coach - or be on the field - unless they take the Rutgers certification class... Good luck!!See, if you lived by me you could have gotten out of it. Nobody's allowed to coach - or be on the field - unless they take the Rutgers certification class... Good luck!!
Oh Lord...you just described my worst nightmare. I really hate soccer...yep...hate it. At the very least I get to snuggle under my monogrammed blanket in my pink chair and "visit" while the game goes on. I enjoy football games and baseball games (well, until it gets hot then I get cranky...but you know what I mean)...soccer...bleck...
Good luck and maybe the season will fly by!
NOOOOOOOO! I am so so sorry. Outdoor sports, coaching and garnet are my three of my least favorite things, too.
Hang in there. I'll be rooting for you inside, wearing any other color by that. :)
That is hilarious!!
I too won't wear garnet for ANY reason. My Mom even tried on a nice sweater/blazer recently that really looked good on her...like oh my goodness, that looks good on you! But, she just couldn't buy it, b/c it was garnet!! We are true fans!
I think you need to wear a Clemson shirt under your garnet shirt and an orange ribbon in your hair. It might clash, but I think it might be worth it!
I should clarify...the hilarious part is your punny bird flu remark...not the coaching soccer part.
I'm with ya on the garnet...bleh! (It's the OTHER Florida school's color)...and I'm thinking it's time to change your blog name to "Clemsongirl IS the Coach"! :) Good luck!
Laughing so hard not just because this us funny but because I am the SAME way! Heaven forbid pair that ugly color with black. Nope, not on me!!! Good luck and dont forget to wear pink. You will remember when your skin starts burning!
If anyone can rock it, you can. Wow...those U14 kids have no idea how lucky they are and how enlightened and cool they will be by the end of the season. You NEED something Orange on at all times. I don't know if I could wear the shirt and I certainly know that my husband would never do it. The things we do for our kids...Go Garnet Cyclones!!!!!!
Oh my, this is going to be awesome.
I can relate. I feel the same way about that God awful orange color. :-)
You will rock this!
Too funny!! My vote for your undershirt would be orange... you MUST protect yourself! : )
I'm dying laughing at this!!! Rock it Clemsongirl!
Ha. You crack me up. That picture is absolutely darling and good luck with coaching!
I wouldn't even know where to start! Once again, you are supermom!
OMG i love this.. think of it as SEMINOLE Garnet and it might be better! I mean I am partial .. =)
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