Oh Jack

Today I began the "structured" days of summer. My children don't do well with no structure, and after 3 days of hanging out with no agenda, they gently reminded me of that. Reminded me by acting like total turkeys.

So today, we have a game plan. A loose plan for the day. Ok, that's a total lie. We have a typed itinerary broken down my hour and an accompanying binder with To Do lists. 30 minutes this morning of school work, Jack needs extra reading help and Ryan insists that he is struggling with high number multiplication/division facts. Yes, he's a total geek, like his mama.

After school work and supervision of the dishwasher repairman, we headed out for eleventy billion errands. Bank, return a defective art kit, stop at office supply store for more laminating (delicious laminating is my new obsession), Target run, get a few items for a surprise party I am planning for a client, give the monogrammed minivan a spa treatment and pick up photos.

Last stop was picking up the photos. I had them uploaded this morning to Walmart.

Run into the the photo counter. Of course, said photos are not there. Can't find my order "in the system" despite an email confirmation and a text stating that they are ready. I tell the employee I will resend the order tonight. Annoy-ing, and you get what you pay for.

Just as we are walking away, Jack looks at the employee and says,

"This store is totally bootleg."

Yep. I'm raising myself.

AWesome Week

When I started this blog, the minis were 3 and 5 years old. Now they are officially 3rd and 5th graders! That seems crazy to me. Where did the years go?!

Surprised the minis this morning (let's be honest, are they REALLY surprised by the breakfast tables anymore?) with an AWesome end of school year breakfast table. A&W root beer and popsicles. I drove them through Dunkin Donuts on the way to school, and no lie, they chose egg and cheese wraps. I guess they decided protein trumped sugar.

(The case of TAB on the window sill is duly noted.)

Dollar Spot trophy, which honestly should say Mom of the Year. hee hee Orange plates and straws. I had intentions of doing brown and orange balloons but couldn't manage that.

The end of the school year also means Memorial Day weekend. I want the minis to truly understand what Memorial Day is, and that is more than bbqs and swimming. So I "pinwheel pimped" out the mantle with red, white and blue decorations.

The poker chips in the glass jar belong to Jack. He was willing to let me "borrow" them, until he and Ryan want to play poker.

Hope you have a great weekend, and celebrate! *please note, these decorations will be making an encore for 4 July...unless I simply leave them up until then!*

Crazy All Over...Clemson

Crazy All Over is the winner of the Clemson Girl shirt, if you'll kindly email me your info and mailing address I will get Maggie to send you your cutie pie shirt!

GO TIGERS!

Giveaway Reminder!

Last day to enter the Clemson Girl tshirt giveaway, I am so so thankful for all the emails regarding donations to the All In Foundation! Especially from you non-Clemson Tigers. WOW!!!

Leave a comment on the post below this one to enter, I will pick a winner in the morning!

Smooches!
Clemsongirl

ClemsonGirl Shirt Giveaway!

You might be a Clemson Girl if...you WIN this shirt!!!

The links on this blog and the lint trap in my dryer have always been orange...

My darling friend Maggie, owner of Tickled Orange in Downtown Clemson and her (hottie) husband Chris, owner of Tiger Town Graphics have just introduced this new Top 10 Clemson Girl shirt. A portion of the proceeds will benefit Dabo's ALL IN Foundation. The shirt is available online or in either store. The minis insist that I tell you to also get some Clemson silly bands. Really? How incredibly amazing are my friends. I am so very lucky!!

I'm lucky enough to be giving away one of these shirts to one of my readers!

Here are the rules, you can do any or all of them!

Enter once by just leaving a comment!

LEAVE A SEPARATE COMMENT FOR EACH ONE YOU DO!

1. Follow this blog via email for one entry. Box is in the top right corner.

2. "Like" Tickled Orange on Facebook for one entry.

3. Make a donation OF ANY AMOUNT to Dabo's ALL IN Foundation for 3 entries.

4. Tweet about the giveaway for one entry (I'm @clemsonjenn)

5. Blog about the giveaway for 2 entries.

For the record? My ringtone is absolutely Tiger Rag, my dog's name is Bowman, my oldest child is named after the Catholic Church in Clemson,

and without question, orange and purple are the perfect color combination. Love my Tigers!

Go TIGERS!

Laminate This

It seems that I have organization on the brain, or perhaps waterproofing.

I dreamt last night about laminating. I think it stemmed from a late night epiphany I had regarding a Memorial Day banner I printed. I was thinking it was going to be a one time use because it would be a hot mess next year...unless I laminated it. Oooh, the possibilities.

***insert dream sequence font***

So my dream consisted of me at Office Max with all of my items to be laminated spread out on their copy center counter. I started with the banner, then a real-life manners list I have on the fridge. Next it was the summer camp calendar, a phone list, and then a disturbing list of my clothing sizes. I have no idea why one would laminate such a thing, but I was positively giddy about it in REM.

Next I laminated my Christmas card list, God forbid anyone move, a babysitter checklist (ha! like I ever manage to get a babysitter...where would I go, Office Max? hahahaha) and oddly enough a list of golf courses and driving ranges in Atlanta. I rounded out the order with a monthly grocery list, the children's Granny Camp itinerary (A-MEN!) and a Mass schedule.

Last, but not least, I had a life size cutout of Coach which I was delighted to have laminated. I supposed I wanted to waterproof him in case I took him swimming. Really? Really.

While I truly appreciate, ok, am mildly orgasmic, about the idea of laminating, my dream state took it a smidge too far.

Or did it?

Gotta run, off to Office Max, the pool opens next weekend.

2 Unrelated Thoughts

Today in Mass I was asking for forgiveness for my horrible attitude and intense dislike (read: borderline hatred) toward Ryan's baseball coach. He absolutely ruined the season for Ryan and I truly think he is a bad person. I am stuck with these thoughts in my head and need to get past it. Ryan's season is over and we need to move on. I'm not the Jackass Whisperer, and despite my over confidence, I can't fix this man. I have never seen him outside of the baseball park and will likely never see him again. Just as I was tearing up and praising my waterproof mascara choice today, asking for the grace to move on, he walks right past me to take Communion with his family. I had no idea he attended our church, nor that he was Catholic. I was stunned. God sent me a hell of a message, no pun intended today. I'm working on it. Memo received.

***

It needs to be summer so we can get off the hamster wheel. I know I will be complaining soon enough about being super hot and sunburned, but truly? 10 more days of school. 10 more days of getting up at crack thirty. 10 more sets of lunch boxes to fill. 10 more sets of uniforms and wash and iron. Less than 10 more days of homework, although the summer is full of school work to ensure they are ready for the fall. Jack's struggles with reading, which I blogged about in the early fall continue. So there's more work in that area to be done. But, 10 more times in car pool line.

10 more. 10 more. 10 more.

***

Countdown to Summer

The minis' last day of school is May 27, so yesterday we started our Countdown to Summer!

I hung this little note on the mirror in the dining room.

I stocked up on a bunch of little treasures and treats. (click the picture to make it bigger) Some of them I bought 2 of each, some of them they have to share. Then I wrapped them up and numbered them 12 to 1...counting down to the last day of school. Dollar Tree, Michaels/Target Dollar Spots and Easter clearance. Basically the same kind of things I put in the Treasure Box when we travel (every 30-60 minutes they behave in the car, they get a treasure). Wrapping them makes it more exciting and special. Doesn't really matter what the items are.

The minis actually really like school, but summer is tons of fun too!

It's possible that I may need to create a Granny Camp Countdown for me! Lip gloss, magazines...hmmmm

Rainbow Cakes

So, everyone has seen the new trend of making Mason Jar Cakes. You bake and serve the cake in the mason jar, it's so cute! (My friend Lisa and I were also talking about serving tacos and bbq/bean/slaw in them for a party. Props on the cuteness!)

I made these rainbow cakes for Sunday, which was also my Dad's birthday. I will spare you the details of the multiple (3!) trial runs, and tell you, only fill the jar up half way with batter!

Needless to say, the minis and I had fun making them, and of course, I forgot to take a picture of them when we served them with whipped cream on top and rainbow (duh) sprinkles.

Scapular Mass

Jackson made his First Holy Communion.

My work here is done.

Well, almost.

Ready?

Hello Sweets.

Add another line to the To Do list. Ok, another page.

It's the home stretch ... 13 more days of school.

I'm getting situated.

And putting on my armor.

Cinco de Breakfast

Hola! We celebrated Cinco de Mayo this morning with breakfast burritos and Skippyjon Jones.

If you don't already know and love the Skippyjon Jones books, he is a Siamese cat who thinks he is a Chihuahua. His ears are to "beeg" for his head and he speaks with the most fabulous

Spanish accent. It's one of our favorites and perfect for Cinco de Mayo...

or Cinco de Breakfast!

Situation in a Venti Cup

Lord know this girl loves her Starbucks. Giving it up for Lent was without question one of the top 4 dumbest things I ever did (um, hells no I am not telling you the top 3). So I have been making up for lost time lately and indulging...early and often.

Today I was in Small Town way North of Atlanta on the hunt for blessed cordovan colored penny loafers (um, yes the same penny loafers that tipped the apple cart of anxiety on Sunday, but I digresss) and drove through the Starbucks there.

I ordered an Iced Triple Grande Skinny Vanilla Latte in a Venti cup. Natch. This sounds very complicated to anyone who isn't a Starbucks fan, but I assure you it's quite simple. It's on the real menu, not some fancy whatnot I concocted.

In any case, I ordered my drink and pulled up to the window, anxiously awaiting my Goodness in a Venti Cup.

Ummmmm.

The barista who was working the drive-thru was a smidge country. Ok, truth be told, she was totally country and not even a little bit rock and roll. She was actually not even wearing an apron, but a random black cable knit sweater. Which was odd, because it was 80 dang degrees.

She handed me what I can only describe to you as a "Situation in a Venti Cup". It was an iced Situation, so points for that. However, I'm not exactly sure what shore this Situation was from. It looked to be an upside down caramel macchiato with an entire bottle of caramel and chocolate syrup dripping down the inside. On top of the "Situation in a Venti Cup" was a whole mess of whip with...wait for it...coconut shavings on the top. Whisky Tango Foxtrot?! Who on God's Earth hates themself enough to drink that?

I smiled and said, "Maybe that's the next car's order? I had an SVL."

"No. You didn't. " She said. Ruh-roh... "THIS is your drink. THIS is what you ordered. THIS is what I called back to you."

Back it on up sister friend. "No, that's not my order. I had an SVL. I don't even know what that Situation is. If you had called that back to me I would have laughed hysterically and corrected you."

So she pulled a face and got me an SVL. Which I thorougly enjoyed, despite that fact that I am certain she spit in it.

Circle the Wagons

I love you girlies (guys)! You really know how to circle the wagons, and that's just what I needed yesterday. I have no idea how to embed this video clip into my blog, and I'm quite busy looking for penny loafers.

So, here's a funny for you. Since I wear a ponytail, and I'm selective. And? The back of your head is ridiculous.

Enjoy! Smooches!

http://youtu.be/kTFZyl7hfBw

What To Tell Your Children

I'm not a psychologist, I'm not a teacher and I am surely not a political pundit. Take this post at face value.

I'm a Mama. A Mama who knew immediately last night that I had some explaining to do to my children about the killing of Osama Bin Laden. My mind raced trying to come up with the words I would use to explain to Ryan, 10 and Jack, 8.

On September 11, 2001 Ryan was not quite 6 months old and Jack was still a dream. But that evening, I wrote my children a letter. I explained to them what happen, using words that I imagined children could understand. There are tears on that letter, and, like on this blog, I didn't edit my feelings.

In 2003, my mother bought 2 children's books for the the minis which we have read repeatedly and discussed ad nauseum. I have included the links below if you're interested.

The first one is, The Little Chapel That Stood. It is the story of St. Paul Chapel which is situated between the Twin Towers. It not only survived 9/11, but served as a comfort and base for those serving in the days that followed.

The second book is, September 12: We Knew Everything Would Be Alright. It is written mostly by 1st graders, with art work that addresses the simple comforts and daily routines following 9/11. It is a hopeful book that tells children that even after bad things happen, things will be ok.

I pulled those books out, re-read them and made some notes. I sat the minis down this morning and used the words that I thought would be helpful to them.

I said,

"I know you remember what happened on September 11 with the airplanes and the Towers. Ten years ago many, many people on our country were killed. Some of them were normal people just going to work. A lot of them were firefighters, EMT, and police officers. There was a man who was the boss of the terrible group of people called Al Quaeda. They are terrorists. They hate America. They hate us.

When that happened, President Bush told the American people that we would find that man, named Osama Bin Laden. For 10 years, our soldiers have been looking for him. He has been hiding. Last week, they told the new President, who is the head of the military, that they were pretty sure they knew where he was. President Obama gave them permission to go there, and to kill him. Yesterday they found him. They shot him with a gun and he is dead.

I need you to listen very carefully boys. Are you listening to me? Look at my eyes and listen.

That will never happen to you. That happened to a very horrible man who did horrible things. Your Daddy and I will keep you safe, and so will the soldiers that protect you. Do you understand? That happened very far away from us. You would have to take a plane to get there. Not here. Not close to our house or your school.

I know it's confusing and you have lots of questions. I will answer all of those questions. When you get to school today, people are going to be talking about this. Many of your friends may say some really stupid things about this. I need you to understand that talking like that is not ok.

If you hear people saying inappropriate things, this is what I want you to say.

"I am glad our soldiers are keeping me safe." Just like we say whenever we see a soldier. We shake their hands and say "Thank you for keeping me safe." None of those soldiers were hurt yesterday.

When you get home, you can tell me all of the things that your friends were saying at school. It's absolutely ok to repeat all of those things to me and to Daddy. It is not ok to repeat them to anyone else.

This is a big deal. My stomach hurts, and maybe yours does too. Tell me what questions you have. I don't know everything but I will help you figure it out."

Jack had some questions about guns and the Ten Commandments. I used this opportunity to talk to them about the Catholic Church's stance on respect for human life and legitimate defense. In little people words of course.

When I pick the minis up from school, I am prepared for more discussion and questions. I am prepared to help them navigate the comments and thoughts of their friends. I expect that Sister Mary Jacinta may have prayed with them.

These might not be the right words for your children. Maybe they are older, or younger or more scared. I don't know if these are the words I should have used. I do know that we need to talk to them. To ensure them they we are doing everything we can to keep them safe.

God Bless America. God Bless Our Children.

Crazy (Honest) Train

**It's my blog and I will vent if I want to**

A ba-billion years ago when I started blogging, back before it was cool, I promised you one thing; honesty. I promised you that I wouldn't sugar coat and bs you. I told you from the get-go that you'd either "love me or hate me" but you'd "laugh either way". I removed the "followers" count from the blog forever ago, because that's not what this blog was meant to be. It doesn't matter if I have 3000 or a million followers. What matters is that I write in a way that is honest and hopefully entertaining. I have run the scope here, from elated, to depressed and every emotion in between. Every single day I get emails from you telling me you appreciate the honesty.

So, here you go. More honesty.

I had a meltdown today in Macy's. An anxiety attack of epic proportions. It was lovely for everyone involved, including Coach and the minis. Upset stomach, shallow breathing, sweating, the usual. We were looking for several things for Jack's First Holy Communion and that combined with my general craziness was just too much. I hate shopping for specific things on a deadline. Makes me heart race and thereby I bite the head off of everyone in sight. If you know anything about anxiety, you know that it really has nothing to do with the actual circumstances surrounding the attack. Usually looking back, it's hard to see why that event in fact triggered it. So, don't misunderstand me, it wasn't about size 3 pennyloafers. Which, tangentially are a biotch to find.

We headed home, and a few episodes of DC Cupcakes and 84,000 migraine meds later, I was back to normal. Normal being just left of center and mildly (read: completely certifiably) nuts.

Someone recently said I don't seem happy and that everyone deserves to be happy. You know, I'm not sure most people are "happy" in the broad sense of the word. I love my family, but life? It's freaking hard. There are not enough hours in the day, there's too much month at the end of the money and that's alot to manage. I'm rounder than I'd like to be and about 4 inches shorter than I'd prefer. C'est la vie.

A lot of people, especially those that blog, pretend like life is perfect. Their house looks like a Pottery Barn catalog and their children stepped out of a JCrew ad. Heaven forbid if you're not wearing Lilly and carrying a new LV. Well, you know what? That's the exception to the rule. Most of us are just trying to make it work. Many of us are on vacation only because our parents are generous enough to make that happen (thanks mom and dad). Many of us have a car payment ($326.04 until November 2012 thankyouverymuch).

Most of us cut our own lawn, let the gas tank get down to E, clean our own commode and wear cheap shoes from Target. Many of us bust our arses every single day and sometimes, just sometimes feel like we are never, ever going to get ahead.

At least I do.