Pan Am Treat

I love love love the new ABC show Pan Am. I have always had a massive girly crush on Flight Attendants, although I much preferred when they were called Stewardesses. I had planned on dressing as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz for Halloween, but seriously? I need to be a Pan Am stewardess! I will rock that hat and for real? The bag. Dear God I love that bag.


Made me think about this picture from Clemson Rush 1995, our theme for the skit round was Theta Airlines. We employed the 2 finger point (which I perfected in my years working at Disney!) and for the record, I have the same hair and makeup...16 years later.

If only I still fit in that navy skirt...

Non Sequitor

*Picked up my brother who flew in from Chicago. I took him to The Varsity on Friday (where he ate gluten-free and with a fork and knife. He's fancy like that) and to the Waffle House on Sunday. He had never been to either, he's more of a Topolobampo and Fleur de Lis kind of guy, but he rolled with it! I loved hanging out with him sans Minis on Friday. He makes me laugh so hard that my stomach hurts. He's a Triathlete so I'm sure he was appalled at me in my hot pink shorts and less than toned calves on Saturday, but he's my little brother, so he knows to shut it.
He calls the Minis "Nuggets" and they think he hung the moon, especially Jack.

*Had another soccer Saturday. Jack's team tied 3-3 (which he thinks is total bullshank) and he scored twice. He scored the second time from midfield as the last play of the game. He was so happy he walked a little taller. Which was awesome, because U14 The Cyclones didn't have any subs, so little 8 year old Jack subbed in AS A FORWARD for his big brother's game! He basically thinks he is a hot shot now, but is too shy to admit it.

Oh, and if you're keeping track? Cyclones win, 6-0. Turns out I am not horrible at this whole coaching gig. I still throw up repeatedly before the games!

*Yesterday in Mass, Ryan was getting a little, ahem, dare I say, bored. I know, I know. My 5th grade Catholic student should be riveted by the speaker discussing the financial soundness of our parish, ha. He knows better than to get chatty and I know better than to let the boys sit beside one another, it's a Mama sandwich with one of them on each side of me. Ryan started looking all around and Jack leaned across my lap and poked him in the leg. Then he pointed at the hanging crucifix and whispered to Ryan, "Eyes on the prize!"

Happy Monday! Best day of the week!

Smooches,
Jenn

Help

Today on Facebook I posted this as my status:

"I just Skeetered a Hilly. Big Time."

Lots of people didn't understand.

Do you?

Blasted

I got blasted in the calf with a stupid soccer ball tonight at practice. It's totally going to leave a mark. I mean, you won't technically be able to see the mark because of my spray tan...but we will all know it's there. hee hee Before you assume that I was in the way, "the incident" occurred during a water break. I will forever refer to it as "the incident". Not to be confused with "The Situation in a Venti Cup." Moving on.

One little rude player was chatting and not paying attention when I was explaining a drill (said drill involved penalty kicks and keeping your hands behind your back when defending, natch) so I made him run.

That little turkey was my own child, so relax. He's got a real issue with running his mouth, which I still don't really know how to deal with. Technically I didn't make him "run", I sent him across the park to get a ball, and told him to do it quickly. See how clever that was?

Tomorrow I'm getting the dishwasher repaired. Again. It's the second new dishwasher we have had in 4 months and it is janky. Frigidaire keeps sending a repair person, then replacing the entire unit. I'm going to wear my coach's whistle and blow it at him if he takes too long.

I have stuff to do.

Smooches,
Coach Jenn

Game On

Cyclones win, 5-1. I'm just saying.

Practice Makes Perfect

I made it through my first practice, barely.

Admittedly I spent a substantial amount of time online researching workout plans and building a practice template. I planned to break the practice into warm-up/ball skills/passing skills/shooting skills/scrimmage. I had it laminated and on a ring with laminated roster, schedule and "responsible coaching" information. Homegirl was prepared. Terrified, but prepared. Surely that counts for something!

I showed up on the field about 15 minutes early to find a family of deer mid-field. Awesome, because I was already throwing up in my mouth from nerves, I really needed to deal with Bambi too. I sent Jack to dribble the ball in that general direction and the deer headed back into the woods. I assume that the moment the first game starts, the 3 point buck will wander into the goal. Fricking frack. Good thing Gun and Garden ran a subscription special recently. Just kidding. Sort of.

When my players arrived I about fell over. Of course, Ryan will turn 11 this year so we are playing U14 league. (There is no U12.) Which means that there are some players on my team that are 13.

13.

Like they are in EIGHTH GRADE. Three of them are taller than I am. One of the girls has such a serious attitude problem I vacillated between asking her if she had her monthly visitor and calling up her Mama. She's got one more opportunity to work out the 'tude, then I'm handling that. Let's be clear, if anyone on this team is going to have attitude? It's going to be Coach Jenn.

Ummmm...right.

One of the other male coaches (oh, wait...ALL of the other coaches are men) arrived halfway through and called across the field, "Hey Jenn! Did you bring your hair bow?"

Oh Hell yes I did. And my lip gloss.

Go Cyclones!

*I think*

Soccer

I am about to throw up in my mouth. More than a *smidge* nervous for my first soccer practice tonight. And for the record, sweats are not a cop out. This is my Autumnal Mantra; "Sweats are not a cop out."

Here goes nothing...

Winner!

Happy Friday! I assume everyone is wearing their college colors?

Wearing my Clemson Orange here, of course!

The winner of the Erin Condren Monthly Planner is :

Kristin

Congrats and send me an email with your contact information so I can give you details,

my email address is in my blog header.

Sparkle

Tonight I went to the "coaches' meeting" for soccer and I picked up my gear.

So far, in one sentence of this blog post, there are a multitude of problems. The first being me going to a meeting of coaches on my own behalf, the second being me getting and being responsible for, gear. Gag me. I now have in my possession a bag of soccer balls, a stack of orange cones, a whistle and a ball pump. That's pretty much a whole mess of things I don't really need/want to understand.

But you know what? I stopped at Office Max and had my schedule and roster laminated, so I feel much better about that. Frankly, I think that was super smart and will look cute clipped to my monogrammed bag. Because the monogrammed bag? Is happening. Duh.

I picked up my teams uniforms. I also got mine. It's well, ginormous. Not for nothing, Homegirl does NOT need an Adult Large. Just saying. I may be the first person on the planet to take a soccer jersey to be altered. Work it out. Then I stopped by and got a new battery put in my *pink* Ironman watch. I have no idea how to set it to the correct time, but it has a stop watch function and that seems important.

We start practice, which I now know I am supposed to call "workouts" on Tuesday. I have a rough idea of how that will look. I have 5 days to firm it up. Plenty of time for me and Google to figure it out, right?

For the record? I rolled up to that meeting in a dress. Hair Cycle: Day 1. Silver blinged out flop flops and the usual Cherry lip gloss.

I mean let's be real.

I'm bringing the sparkle to soccer.